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age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: this girls screwed my life. i dated this girl 4 years ago,nothing serious we were kids,i was shy didnt let on i liked her,didnt know how to deal with it lol, at the time another girl was txt messaging me,i never even met up with this other girl,being a stupid lad thinking it was cool to look like a player i said i had two girls on the go.BIG mistake.i liked this origonal girl but never made ago of it.she thought i wasnt intrested and went off with my friend,he cheated on her, bout 8 weeks later they split after that 3 years on from us ,we bump into each other and says she wants to meet up so we did, we made ago of it this time,thought it was all great,nice girl everythings goin well, things start to get a bit rocky between us, tottally wrong girl,she winds me up gets me in to a fight with a couple of guys who said somthing about her,boom im left with a broken jaw,lost the feeling in my chin and lip,bout 3 weeks after that we break up when im at the worst time of my life,gives me no answers leaves me in a hell of a mess, THEN i find out she used me as a re-bound for this other guy,not knowing shes my first love i gave it up to her ,so its all been a lie,and worse because she thinks i cheated on her 1st time round turns out her plan was tomake me fall for her and dump me.she made a stupid comment bout it when we first hooked up but i though nothing of it, But wait as if that isnt bad enough it gets even worse, as if all that isnt enoghh to tatally screw aguy up,ive then naively tried to speak to her bout it in a nice way as im still in love with her,Only god knows why! been emailing her some very personall stuff which shes now using aganst me,shes now turned round and labelling me a stalker,whan all ive tried to do is explain shes got the totally wrong impression on everything and needs to stop,its becoming a scocial nightmare for me,weve got friends in common who know and because im the guy im automatically labelled the 1 in the wrong,i cant take legal action cos what ive done is with good intentions,but can be made to look the complete oposite,so my backs against the wall, if i try and speak to her about it,which i thought knowing her so long and us having been so close would have been possible,cos im back being labled a damn stalker,ive got nowhere elese to turn but to try and reason with her ,but i keep playing into her hands,she ruining my life. what can i do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2008): hey hun!!!
she isnt worth all the fuss, all she wanted to was hurt you as she proberly liked you when you where younger!! girls like that are not worth the ground the walk on!! i knwo it must be hard and everyone has realtionship troubles but at the end of the day... everything happends for a reason, because of this one day you will find someone who truley deserves you!!
about the friend situation all you have to do is explain and if they dont believe you then they are not as good friends as you beieleved!!! all you need is that one good mate to stick by you and you are sorted for life!!!
i hope everything goes well for you and i hope i helped even if it was to put a smile on your face cus i cant spell for toffee!!! =) rem keep simling!!! :D
A
female
reader, AngelofLove  +, writes (28 December 2007):
 First thing you need to do is stop contact.
To be keep stalker label, you would have to maintain contact which you know by now that feelings are not mutual so you must accept reality no matter how much it hurts.
Deep down you know that this relationship has no future and could not work.
There is nothing you can do to change her feelings and unfortunately, she did not go about it the right way. But to keep your dignity, is to stop giving her amunition to keep using you in any way.
It is also your responsibility for not giving up on her which you cannot change past behaviour.
You do control the Present and that is a lot.
try to move on with your life, remember that not all girls are the same and the right one will come along at the right time. We cannot force these things.
Meanwhile, work on your self esteem and try to enjoy life best you can. The rest will follow.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, truly_unique  +, writes (28 December 2007):
ok runing your life is a state of mind..a person only has as much of an effect on you as you let them
my advice is too stop right now. this chick is playing games and by reacting you are unwillingly participating.
Try forget about her ( i know its hard) shes not worth it. if you cut all ties with her and ignore her petty little comments she will get bored and move on. leaving her looking a bit of a fool as you can walk out of the mess with your head held high and all of her mistakes wil come back to haunt her.
the best is to just carry on with lilfe and to try not let it effect you
remember two wrongs dont make a right and by doing something back you will be just as bad as she is
best of luck on this
x
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