A
female
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anonymous
writes:I need some serious advice, I think my Mum might be sleeping with my boyfriend!The other night, I went round to my Mum's and she answered the door in her dressing gown looking pretty flustered. I wanted some company, as my boyfriend was 'working' (I thought), and I was on my own but she made some excuse about being tired and that she was on her way to bed. I left and went home.Half an hour later, I rang my boyfriend to say 'hi'. At first he didn't answer (that't not unusual while he's at work) but then he did and he sounded a bit out of breath too. I asked him where he was and he told me at work but I'm sure I heard my mum say something in the background!I started to get suspicious so I rushed out of the house and went round there again. I had a nosy around and found his car parked on the next street up! He thought I wouldn't see it there!I was so shocked, I couldn't go back to my mum's. I think I thought ignorance is bliss so I went home but I regret it now. I need to catch them in the act to prove it but I think it'll scar me for life! Help!!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2006): i think your right as i have had it done to me!!!! just say i know what u have been up to and see if they have a guilty conscience and spill all the beans but i would hit the nail on the head right now else it will eat u up inside!!! good luck x
A
male
reader, cherub +, writes (23 July 2006):
 Wow what a horrible really horrible situation you are in!!Your feeling must be in turmoil.shocked like you said,angry,hurt,frustrated,disgusted,anxious the whole gamut.You poor poor thing.The two persons you probably trusted most!I cannot feel how you are feeling right now as I haven't been in such a position before but I can sinserely empathise with you.
From your account of the problem,it does seems you are right in your assumption.Maybe just a tiny percentage that you are wrong.Now how to deal with it and you will need to to because otherwise it will only eat away at your self confidence,self-esteem and trust for both of them.If it is true you will be tremendously hurt and flabbergasted at the audacity of their actions and maybe scar for life like you said but hopefully not by finding someone(friend or counsellor)to share and make sense of what happen.Remember they are the wrong doers and not worthy of you.Your personality/character has no flaw in that nature,they have i.e untrustworthy,disrespectful,immature,selfish and shallow.
(1)You could confront them in a mature way by asking them directly when all of you are together.They will probably deny everything and you are no wiser.However if they confess,then you could kick his sorry arse out of your life because he had no respect for you by doing that no matter how he rationalises.Your mother is worse as she is supposed to protect you from been hurt,but you will need to back off from her for a while and hopefully through your 'therapy' rebuilding of your self/ego and you will,you may want to reconnect with her.Afterall she may learn dearly from it wants to be part of your life again and still is your mother.There is only one mother.Boyfriend material are plenty and there will be plenty who are worthy of you.
(2)Alternatively like you said you could try to catch them red handed.They may do it again unless it is a one off.Please be prepared,if you are doing that,for there will be one almighty scene.In a way if you could hold yourself together and told them what you think of them and tell them to take a hike,it may show them that you are strong person and can get over their sordid liaison.
If you are going forthwith with your plan,I just want to wish you well and please don't let it scar you for life.If anything could come out of that for you then maybe it could make you a stronger and better person learning from this sad affair.
My thoughts are with you in this moment of needs.
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A
female
reader, Wendyg +, writes (23 July 2006):
 I advist not to go storming in with two feet, and dont assume until you know. You are obviously having doubts about your boyfriend or you wouldnt have suspected this. It could all be innocent and circumstantial, you need to make sure you havent added 2 + 2 and gotten 5! Yes it looks like he may be cheating by having is car in the vincity and told you he was at work, and the fact that your mum was not dressed and a little rushed, doesnt mean that she was having sex, she could have just been have her own private time! So to start I think you need to actually come out and say to your boyfriend that the night he told you he was at work you popped round to your mums and saw his car in another street, and found this to be odd, dont be too brash about it, just ask openly and ask why would it have been there and see what explanation he comes with, you will tell straight off if he is lying. If it is the news you dont want, then yes its going to be tough, but at least you will have found what a rat he was, but as for your mum, you will feel betrayed, but im sure there are people that will be able to help you through it. You dont say how long you have been with your boyfriend, if its only a short time it will be easier to move on from him, and you know that will be the best thing all round, you will be hurt and upset, but not everyone is like this. But from what you say you dont have alot of trust for some reason with him, so your supcious anyway, so you may need to work out why you are, and yes i agree to be suspicious about this latest event, but something made you put two and two together in the first place, as if i had gone to my mums and she was flustered and all that i wouldnt think for one second she were sleeping with my boyfriend. So make sure before you go storming in.
Take care and i hope it works out well for you.
x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2006): Oh dear! You haven't got any evidence though just speculation?? Yes it seems odd that his car was parked around the corner and you seem to think your Mum's behaviour was different. But maybe your Mum has got a boyfriend and maybe he's not YOUR boyfriend!! Maybe your boyfriend is seeing someone else and it's not your Mum? I would calm down a little as maybe you are putting two and together. Has your Mum given you any reason in the past not to trust her with your partner? I would sincerely hope not.I would suggest you try and find something more solid to base your accusations on. You don't want to rock the boat and upset everyone without any concrete evidence.
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