A
female
age
26-29,
*isGirl0516
writes:I think my husband (common law for 11 years; don’t ask why we haven’t gotten married I don’t know either) likes my friend.I noticed when we went on vacation he would suggest her presence where we were gonna be. I don’t doubt her at all, she’s a pretty loyal friend I would say. Well I was looking through his phone (I just had an opportunity so I looked) and tell me he has a chat thread with her that I didn’t know about. He answers her stories or sends her videos or messages asking how she is…like why? That’s my friend not yours sir. Telling her he admires her. He never tells me things like that. I feel so betrayed. She would just answer in a friendly way but I honestly think he’s the one that owes me loyalty not her. Reply to this Question
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reader, HisGirl0516 +, writes (24 October 2023):
HisGirl0516 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi, so yeah she never told me anything. So at this point I’m feeling a type of way towards her too.Him and I have not slept in the same room for days now, and as much as it’s hurting I can’t get over it because he just doesn’t give me a good enough excuse. We had a conversation about exactly this and exactly her, and I told him he was liking her posts a little too much and maybe it was innocent but it was looking bad to me. So I figured this was fixed but instead he took that to mean he could still react to her stories, send her funny videos and ask her how she’s doing privately. Doesn’t make sense to me, and I am hurting so much but I feel I can’t let this go as it was something we discussed.We have two little girls and a baby on the way, which is another reason I am feeling so betrayed.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (23 October 2023):
 The BOTH owe you loyalty - but only your BF owe your faithfulness.
Your friend doesn't seem interested in him and is doing the right thing.. almost.
Has she told you that he is being "overly friendly"? That he is lowkey hitting on her? Or is he being more subtle than that?
Maybe she is presuming he is just trying to be friendly?
You have been together for 11 years. What are you getting out of this relationship? Do you want marriage? Kids? If so, is he really the right partner for you?
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