A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:maybe he didn't hide this from me too well because it truly isn't a big deal? for the last year, my husband has been acting increasingly distant from me. it got to the point where i started to feel like he was maybe having an affair. i snooped around a bit (cell phone records, his pockets while doing laundry, etc), for any proof of this, and nothing. last night, he went out for a bit but left his laptop here at our house. i thought perhaps i would find evidence on that-maybe some email correspondence with another woman, so i tried to check his email, and maybe out of negligence, he left himself signed into his accounts. one i know he uses for personal correspondence, and one for business. well, his personal account had links in it to a myspace profile under his true name. his other email account is where i learned about 'sharon.' i'm almost completely sure she's not real, but he is friends with her on myspace...actually, he is her only 'friend'. from what i can tell, he created a fake profile on myspace--'sharon' through his business account. she's sexy, smart, and everything i wish i was, but am not. i don't know who she really is, but he found numerous pictures of this woman to make her picture 'portfolio' on myspace. she has witty quotes and thoughts. she writes affectionate and thoughtful notes onto the wall of his actual profile, and often it appears that he writes her some pretty lude and explicit notes to "her" on "her" profile, some of them highly explicit in sexual nature (he asks her if she wants to meet up to do things i would never imagine doing with anyone!!!). from the myspace perspective, it looks like they're having an affair, but obviously not a well hidden one. i am 100% sure that he has made sharon up, because his one account for 'sharon' has all of these notifications on it about him posting notes on her wall. i also found one email that indicates that this email is the email address used to create the profile for 'sharon'. the only correspondence that i've ever found between him and 'sharon' appear to be through myspace. truly, he has become so distracted and i am really beginning to think that it is because he is having an internet affair with an imaginary woman. on one hand, it is a big deal, but on the other hand, it's not, right? she's not real. it's not like he can give me an std from sharon, or get sharon pregnant or physically (though not mentally) actually leave me for 'sharon.' what should i do about this? should i even bring up my discovery to him or let he and 'sharon' be, in peace?
View related questions:
affair, myspace, std Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2009): maybe he is leaving all these signs of another woman as a wake up call for you? perhaps he thinks you would either confront him, or start paying more attention to yourself. (sorry, not being rude to you). there may be a number of reasons for him creating this sharon. whatever his reasons, i think you should pay attention to the messege he is sending you. something is not right in your marriage, if you ignore the signs your marriage would be in more trouble than it already is.
don't also be fooled into a complacency thinking that this woman is not a threat to you. a "third" party has entered your marriage. i truely believe that you have not investigated enough. his apparent non interest in your marriage is a warning sign. i think another woman really does exist, you just have to be super observant and call his bluff. you need to confront him. if he has been "clever" enough tocreat this person, but not clever enough to hide her existence then he is setting a trap for you. either way a confrontation should be on the cards. i think you just busted him. your hb is hding something more sinister from you.
A
female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (15 July 2009):
 Could it be that he is trying to make you jealous by acting like he's got a woman on the side? If that is possible, you must ask yourself why he would do this? Is he feeling neglected by you in some way? And he's hoping if you become jealous over 'sharon' you will pay more attention to him, and work on your relationship with him? On the other hand, there is a remote possibility that Sharon really does exist and he's been caught. Either way, I think you should bring it out in the open, it might help you figure out what's really going on with him. I think it's a cry for help.
...............................
A
male
reader, GrimmReality +, writes (15 July 2009):
 I wonder just what frame of mind he is in to b e married and create a fake affair online. I guess it's possible, but what end would it serve?
What motive if Sharon is his only friend on his backup page? Is it to make you jealous?
At best you have a husband who enjoys playing some mind games that serve no real purpose on his wife.
At worst....(fill in the blank). I know people do that kind of stuff (making multiple profiles and changing screen names) but he is creating a pretty elaborate fantasy for himself if Sharon isn't real. Does your husband have the talent to keep the charade up?
I would not confront him...at least not yet. You have no concrete proof to hang him, but that does not mean that it's not happening. Sit tight and listen to your gut. I would investigate this further.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2009): hey im christina..
first off..we are made to think a women with a great body, good skin tone etc. are "sexy" i dont believe in lowering urself or comparing urself to other women..i think u should be proud of wat u have and looks arent everything =]
well about this 'sharon' idk if its real or not..maybe u shouldnt tell him about ur find juss simply do something really sexy for him to want u maybe this 'sharon' is a way of wanting attention[mainly in the sexual department]
im sure ur sex life is great but its seems he wants a new experience...treat urself to a new hairstyle or different make-up style so that hell notcie ur change and really pay attention to u..go to victoria secret and find something elgant and tempting...[also its fun for u cuz u get to do something for u at the same time feeding his fantsies]
and for sex tips and secrets go to google and look up cosmopolitan magazine and they have awesome sex tips and advice on how to spice up ur sex life...
i wish u the best =]
...............................
|
