A
male
age
41-50,
*osh1982
writes:Ok, I think that my girlfriend of 1 1/2 years is cheating on me for several reasons, one of my friends said that they saw her out with another girl(one of her friends who i don't like) and 2 other guys when she told me she would be working late that day, I'm not the jealous type and i give her all the space she asks for so i don't see why she would be out with another girl and 2 other guys without telling me, also she sent me a text that day that said "I'll tell him ill be here late" and when i texted her back asking what she was talking about she said she sent the text to the wrong person on accident, so then i asked her what the text meant and I didn't get a response so I brought it up again when she came home(around 11pm, she normally comes home around 8pm) and she flipped out saying that it was just an accident never giving me an answer as to what it meant, so me being the more laid-back type of person just let it go, then a few weeks later I think it was 2 weeks she called me and told me she would be having a sleep over at her friends house(they are all in relationships and they do this slumber party thing often)so when she was about to leave i went upstairs and brought her sleeping bag downstairs for her and i was going to carry it outside to the car and while i was bringing it down i dropped it on accident and 2 condoms fell out this is where i got pissed because the condoms that fell out were magnums and they were larges, and i use a XL and she knows this and i asked her why she had those and she says she was going to give me a good time when she came back, which made me wonder why they would be in the sleeping bag if that was the case, and when she came back she didn't give me a "good time" like she said she would and the condoms were gone so i got mad and we started arguing her saying that she threw them away because they weren't my size and i asked her why she even bought them when she knew that i use a XL, she says it was an accidentAm i just over-reacting about this and could this all really be a coincidence?? all my friends say i should break up with her and kick her out and one friend said that she would just run to the other guy so I should go and find out who the other guy is and tell him that shes cheating and I should make her lose both of us so that she has no one to run to, I normally wouldn't do something like this but I'm really considering it because all this shit keeps happening and she always either flips out or says its an accident, she keeps saying she loves me and that shes not cheating on me but i don't know what to believe anymoreThats all the background info, my question is do you guys think shes cheating? do you guys think i should try and find out who shes cheating with and tell him that shes cheating? and if i should how would i go about finding out? sorry this is so long, but I really need advice
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male
reader, kiefer_b  +, writes (25 January 2011):
i don't know if you've broke up already or not but if everything you've said is true then yes she was cheating on you and i know because this exact thing happened to me with my past two ex's first it started of with them coming home later than usual and i asked why and the same thing work kept me in later or my friend needed help etc then i got the "accidental" text saying ill be there in 20 minutes or whatever it was and these where the times when they were meant to be home from work. so yea i eventually found out they were cheating on me with several guys which anyway i'm afraid this girl has cheated on you which sucks but its the truth and as i said if you have or have not broken up with her yet do it now before it goes on too long but thats only if you have not already......obviously . i hope everything works out good for you =)
A
male
reader, Iggy Rock  +, writes (8 January 2011):
The same situation with my missus. Ps this has happened only tonight. Her roommate is on holiday and she saw her ex this eve at her place alone. I'm usually fine with it, he was her last relationship (5years,and she finished it). they do drinks or cinema once a fortnight as friends, this time however it felt different, that gut feeling began. I am staying The otherside of town with family. On my nightly call to her, she said they had an enjoyable time and she was heading for a bath and then bed for an early night as she has some pupils to teach at home tomorrow. I thought something doesn't seem right. I got in my car and drove to her pad. Low and behold her ex's car is there and hour and a half after the nite nite xxxx text. Switch ofmy lights and walk to the house, no lights on......many things going on in my head at the moment. I need to ditch her but I want.her to know she.was caught out, as that will give.me closure. I'll be my usual cheery self when I see her tomorrow eve and ill check the sheets to see if they are fresh, check for lack of sexytime,as she gets sore if more than once a week. And then I will, show her my phone with a picture of his car, her place and no lights on at 10.30pm and say gotcha. Ill get my things and leave. Job done.My advice to you is find your closure, get out and move on. Life is too short.
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A
female
reader, Artistry +, writes (20 July 2008):
 Hi there, Well based on what you wrote, I think you know what is going on. Her text message was to her girfriend, who probably needed the extra girl, or they all had been out before, and she wrote her back confirming. The fact tht you got it makes me wonder, if she didn't want you to find it?
Then the condoms, she wouldn't be wearing them, so you know where that goes. All these accidental things, where there's smoke, what's the rest of that? I take it she lives in your house, I agree with what your friend is saying. Trust is built upon trust, once it is shaken, it takes a long time to be restored. One thing I would not want you to do, please, do not go looking for whoever the guy is, that she is seeing, it may be more than one, a cheat is a cheat. Do not lower yourself to the level of finding someone to take some sort of revenge, it's not worth it. You would give the impression that you care, and maybe you do, but I would not let them have that power over you, to go out searching for some insignificent person. Let them have each other. He may know that she has a boyfriend, and did't care, he could be a player as well. Go on with your life after you let her know, if this is what you decide, it will hurt for a while, but you will get over it. Tell her there have been too many little accidental things going on and if there is somebody she wants to be with and it is not you, don't let the door hit you in the backside.
Life is too short to be messed over, and played with. If she cheats on you, she will cheat on the other guy. It's sometimes a game. Be smarter and more classy than she is and rise above all the garbage. You will find someone in time, after the pain and healing is done, who will respect and care for you as you will for them. Do not accept less than what you should have. You will always be suspecting her of something, and it will surely turn out to be another piece of accidental crap. I hope I have answered you sufficiently. Keep your self-esteem and don't get down in the mud, don't go looking for anybody, your temper could get out of control, because he might just say something that is beyond reprehension, especially since you don't know how far this has progressed. It is so not worth it, you don't need revenge. I have seen, as they say, what goes around, comes around. Take care of yourself, give her time to leave, after you say what you are going to say, unless you want to keep being involved with someone, who likes to play. Living with you and hanging out with other men. Sometimes you find out things by accident, but it a message to you, to wake up. My sister found her fiancee's will, in his briefcase that he left at her apartment, why she went through it I really don't know. But the will listed people, she knew nothing about. She and my other sister went to the address on the will, he was living in common-law and had a family, at the smae time as he was giving her a huge diamond ring. Needless to say that ended the engagement. People do what they think they can get away with, until the chickens come home to roost. Take care of yourself and move on, don't be accusatory, but the condoms would be enough for me. Next case. Be good to yourself. Don't fall for anymore accidental behavior. One more time, do not go looking for worthless people. at least in this situation.
Let me know how you make out with the situation. Control
yourself, it's for the good.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2008): If it looks like a duck, swims like a duck, and quacks like a duck...... Well your a smart boy, do the math.
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