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I think my friend has mental problems!

Tagged as: Big Questions, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (23 January 2007) 11 Answers - (Newest, 17 February 2009)
A female age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Dear Everyone,

i have a friend who is going to get engaged but i dont think he is mentally stable to do that.

first of all he says he is agnostic then he says he is

spirtual but not religous. i dont know does he really know what he is saying. and the worst thing he said is that he is on the right path more than ever.

please help cause if he has mental problem or is just lieing to him self should i stop him from committing to my other friend

View related questions: engaged, mental problems

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A male reader, Don Quixote United Kingdom +, writes (17 February 2009):

Hi,

If your friend is really agnostic, his partner is lucky. Mental problems/ That's the last thing he has...believe me.

Don

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2007):

And as usual, I seem to have stated what everyone else has already said... [sighs] Cheers to the lack of sleep and misaligned awareness... [frowns]

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2007):

Being spiritual without being religious can be an aspect of being agnostic. Being agnostic is the belief in that something might be out there, but you're not inclined to follow a religious doctrine.

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A male reader, W United Kingdom +, writes (25 January 2007):

Are you saying you suspect he has mental health problems because he does not believe in an invisible sky being with magical powers who monitors our thoughts and presides over an elaborate system of reward and everlasting torment? Just checking...

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A female reader, CarrieMagdelene United States +, writes (24 January 2007):

CarrieMagdelene agony auntI for one believe in no God. I believe in no higher being that nature. Does that make me athiest? Dunno, don't care. It's normal to question your faith, change your beliefs, or look into other religions to fit those beliefs you have. :) Let him do his own thing. Try to keep your own religion out of it, and look at what he's doing: Finding his niche.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2007):

I was agnostic, then i decided i definitely didn't believe in anything, now officially atheist and i feel i'm on the right path, for me at least. Last time i checked i wasn't mental :/ . For me, being an atheist doesn't make me any different from anyone, I have a set of good values and i'm not an "evil non believer" or anything. I was a bit shocked the other day though when i told my friend i was atheist and she thought it was really strange. I guess some people aren't used to it, especially if you've been raised in say a tight religious community i guess. Don't worry your friend is not mental. You should congratulate the guy on his engagement.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2007):

This is, without a doubt, the strangest question I have ever seen on dear cupid. If I understand correctly what you're saying is that because your friend has varied views on religion and spirituality that you think he has mental issues? That is the craziest thing ever. Not only is it NONE of your business what his religion is or if he chooses to get engaged or not there is absolutely no proof that he has mental problems. By worrying about this I'd suggest you're the one with the problem.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2007):

I agree with stina. Don't get caught up pigeonholing peoples beliefs in to over-simpligied words and concepts, I too am agnostic, very spiritual but don't follow any religions.

You say you don't really think he knows what he is saying - I don't think you know what you are saying. You can not go around inferring people have psychological problems just because you don't understand their personal beliefs.

You should not push people for their beliefs in such matters. For many the belief in a God, or their spiritual views are personal and are not something that can be explained in such black and white words.

I think there is more to this any way - you obviously have a different reason for why your "friend" is getting engaged or married. Don't you?

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A female reader, stina United States +, writes (23 January 2007):

stina agony auntHi Anon,

It is possible that someone can be agnostic and spiritual, but not religious.

Of course, there are other definitions of these words, but basically this is what they all mean --

Agnostic: the belief that there can be no proof either that gods exist or that gods do not exist

Spiritual: of or pertaining to sacred things or matters; religious; devotional; sacred; of or relating to the mind or intellect.

Religious: imbued with or exhibiting religion; pious; devout; godly: a religious man; pertaining to or connected with a monastic or religious order.

I think if he claims to be agnostic and spiritual, then he knows what he's talking about, but it does seem as though you are rather confused about it. Why is him saying he's on the right path the worst thing he's said?

I think you need to research a little bit - or ask your friend - when it comes to being agnostic. You could start by looking at these links:

http://www.agnosticuniverse.org/ingersoll-why_i_am_an_agnostic.html

http://www.agnosticforums.com/

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Agnosticism

I'm with Willy - "who are you to stop him from committing to your other friend," and why do you think he has mental problems?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2007):

I hate to say this but it sounds like you have motivations as what you gave us to work with does not jive with your concerns.

I am sitting her going what?

You sound like you are taking what he has to say and being affronted by him being spiritual. This doesn't imply he has mental issues.

With this post; it comes across like you have the serious problem and that you don't want him to get married as it is a threat to you and your link to him and you don't want him to be spiritual or be on a path of self discovery or self growth as it is a threat to you and your link to him.

Why would this be?

Counselling for yourself and fast.

And you shouldn't come on here and talk of your friend in an ill manner and declare him mentally unstable...it made me feel like I just walked into a pool of sludge.

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A female reader, willywombat United Kingdom +, writes (23 January 2007):

willywombat agony auntFirst who are you to stop him 'comitting to your other friend'?

Second, maybe he doesn't know what he is either, maybe he is having a crisis of faith?

Third, why would this make you think he has 'mental problems'?

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