A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm 19 yrs old and I have a bit of an extended family. Pretty close to my mother's side of the family and all their children, we consider ourselves as brothers and sisters us cousins (there's a lot of us).In fact I'm the oldest, and I feel I kind of helped raise some of them.However I'm getting worried by the attachment one of them has towards me who's seven years younger than me. I was particularly playful with her as she was growing up, in fact I believed I helped her with her first few steps even. At one point when she was a couple of years younger she said she wanted to marry me when she grew up, it jarred me a little and the family but eventually brushed it aside as I felt she was too young to understand what she was saying.But lately I've noticed as she's getting older she's being very clingy and her actions and some thing she says of me seem to show underlying feelings towards me.You see even her mother (my aunt) had suspicions about this and tried keep her away from me for a while but now she thinks the coast is clear - but I don't.Our relationship is that I tease her all the time and she gets annoyed by it, so I started to tease her even more in hopes she'll be off of me, though she does get annoyed quite a bit and she ends up crying a lot - but for some odd reason it seems it makes her endear to me even more!?Whatever chance she gets it seems she will try and get a hold of me playfully as a pretext and touch me or contact me in some way. It's quite clear how she feels.And now there's an even bigger problem that now I'm starting to have fantasies because of this!?!?! I keep thinking that I should wait for her to mature etc. These thoughts are now driving me crazy!Primarily I want her to... well not like me the way she does, before it gets serious as she grows up, and if she stops maybe then I'll be at peace. Should I stay away from her as much as possible?
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female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (24 October 2008):
Yep, you know what the right thing to do is here. Stay away.
Your mum has seen it and knows it would be a bad idea for you to get together.
She is taking the teasing as a way of getting closer to her, even though it upsets her.
Just be cold to her for now and try not to be alone with her or close to her.
The attention is flattering your ego and that is why a small part of your brain is considering it but you know it's only because she's there in front of you.
Go out with your mates and flirt with some other girls, your cousin will start looking like the little girl she is to you very soon.
Good Luck!! xx
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