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I think my boyfriend wants nothing t do with me.. What do you think??

Tagged as: Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (28 November 2012) 7 Answers - (Newest, 30 November 2012)
A female United States age 26-29, *awrILuvYuhh101 writes:

So i haven't talked to my boyfriend in about 3 weeks.. and i feel as if he's ignoring me.. i don't know what to do.. this isn't the first time. He usually dosen't talk to me for a week or two then just calls or texts me and acts like nothings wrong.. Do you think he could be cheating? I'v talked to some family and they think so.. Im considering breaking up with him.. but anyway him not calling or texting over long periods of time then instantly texting or calling out of the blue mean that he could be cheating.. or possible that he wants nothing to do with me??

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A female reader, Ciar Canada +, writes (30 November 2012):

Ciar agony auntAfter three weeks of no contact with him I would not consider him a boyfriend. And if this is how things usually are, he never really was a boyfriend.

SVC is right. This sounds more like a friends with benefits arrangement, save the fact that you're 13 and hopefully the 'benefits' are few and limited.

This is a dalliance and not an official relationship so there isn't any point in an official break up. Just be less and less available, don't engage in any monkey business when you are together, no flirty talk when you're not and set your sights elsewhere. If he wanted you for a girlfriend he wouldn't give you cause for doubt or the opportunity to act upon it.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (29 November 2012):

So_Very_Confused agony auntif you were an adult I would say it's FWB but you are 13-15..

he's not a boyfriend honey.. he's just some guy that you used to know...

time to move on.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2012):

If he's 15, its possible he's cheating I guess (depending if he's sexually active too). If he's 13, I'd say its unlikely (I mean, at 13, cheating only entails holding hands with another girl or a little peck on the lips, nothing too serious)

During these no contact times, do you actually make the effort to contact him, or do you just sit back and wait to see how keen he is to contact you first? Because this is something that works (or doesn't work depending on how you look at it) both ways. All you've really mentioned in your post is that he often goes for weeks without contacting you, you've not said whether YOU always initiate contact first and he ignores you until 2 maybe 3 weeks later. What I'm saying is, he maybe waiting for you to contact him first and if you don't, he's thinking the same as you, that you're losing interest in him...

Given the benefit of the doubt though, if everything checked out in the relationship there would be equal initiation for contact on both parts. As for whether he's cheating or not, I couldn't answer that question, but something is clearly missing. Maybe its best to just ask him since he's the guy in question.

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (28 November 2012):

Sageoldguy1465 agony aunt3 WEEKS????? Honey, if you have EVER put out for this guy... then YOU are strictly a "booty call".... and nothing else......

How long will it REALLY take for you to see that this dog isn't "in to" you.... and relegate him to the trash bin of your life??????

Good luck....

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A female reader, oldbag United Kingdom +, writes (28 November 2012):

oldbag agony auntHi

If I hadn't talked to or seen my *boyfriend* for 3 weeks and he wasn't out of the country or in hospital,I wouldn't think he WAS my boyfriend anymore, if ever.

Next time he contacts you ignore it. Delete his number today,block on FB if he's on there and get out with your friends this weekend,do some xmas shopping or something,your a single girl and he just uses you.

Theres more to life than boys.........

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2012):

Thsi isn't a boyfriend! Run, don't walk, away. You are worth much more than the way he is treating you.

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (28 November 2012):

CindyCares agony auntTo me, it means that you call him bf, but in fact what you have is only an FWB type of situation. OP, are you kidding ? he disappears for two or three weeks at a time, then he pops up like nothing, fresh as a daisy ?

And you call this a bf/ gf relationship ? Ok leaving space to each other and not living into each other's pocket, but ... there are limits.

I think that you may have very unrealistic expectations about somebody that sees you only as a conevenience, and makes no mistery about it. I don't care if he " said " he loves you, or he " said " you are a steady couple etc., what he does totally belies what he may have said.

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