A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, well I have been going out with this boy for just over 3 months. he has wanted to go out with me for nearly 5 years but i have always said i would go out with him when i was ready to commit fully to a relationship. When he asked me a few months back I realised how much he actually means to me and with other girls drooling over him he hasn't even glanced at them and waited for me to feel ready for a bf.However, it was going so well until we had been going out for 2 weeks. It felt like he was holding bk from me, it almost felt like now he had me + now he doesn't want me anymore. normally he would be messaging me none stop now i am lucky if i get a message a week. if we go out with a big group of mates it is almost like i am invisble. whereas some couples in our crew are sooo happy and cuddling and obviously so in love and they have been going out a fraction of the time we have. why can't he take a hint that i love him he has got me why can't we just be happy and like them?!we had a huge argument last week and he told me i was too clingy and he is obv sooo popular that he has to say hi to everyone i am not the only one he wants to spend time with. he had a go at me for going out with my best 4 girl mates and then accuses me of intruding on his life when i decide to tag along at a mixed boy/girl party. he is just really selfish at times , and it feels like he isn't making any effort at all it feels like i have lost him. he is not the same i i don't no wat i have done and how to get him bk. its like a rollercoaster one minute we are soo in love next we are practically not talking.my friends and mum think he is either- embarrased-confused (its his 1st relationship as well as my own) - gayit feels like he doesn't want to get close to me even wen i try my hardest to get him excited he just doesn't take a hint that i want to go to the next level with him. i would really like some honest advice please :) Reply to this Question
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female
reader, dearkelja  +, writes (13 June 2010):
 Hi there,
You are both young. If this is his first relationship he probably doesn't know how to communicate. He has told you that you are too clingy so try to give him some space. It is possible that he is afraid of being hurt, after all it took him a long time to get you to go out with him. It is also possible that he doesn't know what he wants. He may have thought it would be great to have a girlfriend but now that he has one he may feel that he'd rather not be so tied down.
The bottom line is that the two of you need to talk. He needs to share his feelings with you, that's the most important part of a relationship. Try to have a non-threatening conversation with him about how YOU are feeling. Remember, in a relationship you have a right to your feelings and to communicate them. I don't think he is gay. More likely confused about his feelings.
Take care and best wishes.
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