A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:my boyfriend was with his ex for 5 years and they have a 2 1/2 year old daughter together. after they broke up he got with me . well its been a few months and i have found out a few times that they have been talking alot. well he tells me all the time that im the only one he wants to be with and he wants to spend the rest of his life with me, he tells me all the time how im the best thing thats ever walked into his and his daughters life, and that she loves me soo much. well the past few weeks have been unbearable i have found out from his family and friends that he has been texting her off the hook telling her that he wants his family back and that he misses her and a bunch of shit. well ive just blown it off cause i have no proof hes doing anything. but then all of a sudden he told me his work was supposed to send him to massachusettes for a few days . well i belived him at first until his family told me that he was lieing to me that he was really going to be with his ex and his daughter. i wasn't gonna say anything but i couldnt hold it in any longer i just had to say something. well he told me that it was a bunch of lies and that his family wants us to break up but everyone in his family loves me right to death. so i do belive he is lieing to me . he texts her all the time while hes sitting right next to me knowing that it bothers me, and then deletes all of his messages . he never leaves his phone around me. and then he will ask if i wanna see what they are saying to each other and i say yes , then he will delete all the messages then gives me his phone. he has cheated on me b4 with her and i just don't know what to do i don't know if im being paranoid or if hes really doing something. i have this really really bad gut feeling something is going one . but i don't wanna say anything until i have proof all i have right now is just what people are telling me, and the messages he sends her she has shown them to me. i just don't know what to do i really need some advice please.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2010): Go straight to her for the answers. Chances are he's telling her a load of crap about his relationship with you!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2010): Wow! I swear we must be the same person! My boyfriend of nine months has been hanging out with his baby mama a lot this past month. Even when the kid is not around. Whe hes with me all he does is sleep. But when hes with her the hang out and go out to eat and watch movies! He has never once taken me out anywhere. Not that ineed to go out but why is he taking her places and not me? We haven even watched a movie at home together in months! Last night he slept on her couch because he was too tired to go home. I think thats a lame excuse. Why was he tired. His kid was in bed hours before he told me he was tired. I want to give him the benefit of the doubt but its very hard. Now he wants to give sperm to said ex so his daughter can have a sibling! This woman doesnt even take care of the one she has! Her house is filthy and all she does is text her partner all day because she is unemployed! He child is constantly sick from the filth that she refuses to clean up! I dont know what to do either and im not going to tell you to leave him because i know i could never do that. I just wish they were in our shoes so they could see exactly what we go through and feel what we feel. That would be justice at best!
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2010): well i'm with this dude and he got four kids and we been together for 3year and i see he still got feeling for his baby mama..one day i caught him driving this girl car that stayed next doors to him and i was worryn why he driving her car whlie her husband lock up for 5 year....i dnt know what to do...i got pregnant by him and he made me lose my baby over these drama...girl you betta leave him
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2010): I say your gut feeling never lie. I to have been in a situation with a guy who never truly left the mother of his children and its a very hurtful situation because once the truth comes out you feel used. I had a lot of gut feelings telling me somehthing was going on but i ignored them thinking he would change for me.But eventually i left because the whole texting and talking thing was too disrespectful. truth of the matter is that its one of the hardest things i have done but also one of the best things. It takes a strong woman to know how to let a man she loves or care for go when he is not right for her.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2010): i understand what you mean i feel the same way ... my boyfriend is also my babyfather tho ... but i effed up on him ... so i think he is trying to sho me pay back to b honest the way i feel 4 him now i never felt for him b4 ... but wat i dnt understand is the fact wen he says he is going to spend time with his gurlsz i have no problem with that but whu the hell stayes untill one two three oclock in the morning like tonight he left 4 oclock pm yesterdaiii and he isznt back yet i cnt sleep or nothing cusz it bothersz me so much... i honestlii think he wants me to feel how he felt but 2 wrongsz dont make a right ... but there is no dought that this feeling hurts like hell
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2010): This sounds my ex!!! Extactly like our situation. Look sweety, you would do better leaving this guy....he is going to flat out leave you one day for his baby's mother if you don't. He is using you as a rebound and an emotional blanket. He may care about you some what, but he doesn't love you or respect you. He is only keeping you around just in case things don't work out with his ex. You never, ever want to be a "just in case" woman or the woman men come running to when they don't have a women around or when they are waiting for a woman they want to be with comes around. I have been there and done that.
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