A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Dear cupid,I am a 20yo guy and I have this problem with my 12yo cousin. I just dont know what is up with her.First, she seems to always try to catch my attention. You know, teasing, etc. Sometimes it becomes annoying such as blocking my way towards something, and you have to imagine, I cant really go up and shove into her. Sure, you might say she has a crush on me but wait.The next thing is that she dont care if I get hurt. So she blocks a way, when I try to go past, she shoves into me. HARD. And I cant. Unfair right? Or piggyback. This would be cute if she was little, but shes not. Resulting in me, stumbling and almost being crushed. Which leads me to my final point.She is not the least modest. Oh sure, in public she tries to restrain (note: she tries), but most of the time, not really modest. What I mean is, even if we did grow up together, dont she realize that she is now *ehem* growing. And coupled with her "aggressive" behavior, dont she care about the occasional ... ill just say it ... "boob brush"? Oh sure she dont care, but it feels awkward for me. And I DONT know how to tell her as it would result into a more awkward moment. That the 'little kid' things that would be sweet then, is borderline inappropriate.So help me, what is really up with her? Were on really good terms and close, and in contrast with what I said above, she is sweet, with the occasional hug or holding my arm. Just that, sometimes she seems a little 'out-of-control'. I already tried telling her to stop doing those things, and even became angry sometimes. But even then, she seems to feed into my anger! Seems like the girl is a sadist or something. I tried to avoid her and ignore but couldnt help myself as she started to do more and more annoying things, just to get my attention. Best I do currently is leave her be with our other girl cousins to escape her, but she always seems to find me in the end, when she gets bored. So, what to do?
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female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (10 May 2011):
 Methinks the (you) doth protest too much, if you get my drift. If this situation truly makes you so uncomfortable then stay away from her entirely or speak to your aunt/uncle about it. She at 12 is still a child as far as I'm concerned and you at 20 are hardly one. Man up.
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (10 May 2011):
 Why is she so hard to avoid, are you living with her or something?
Get mad at her and be the adult in this, tell her straight out that you are not a child and neither is she, and you will not have her behave like this around you. She must respect you as an adult, or else she can forget about having any sort of friendship with you.
You're 20, you're and adult. Just put your foot down and exercise your authority over her. You are physically stronger than her, so do not try to tell us she is pushing you around. You can't smack her back or ram into her, but you can definitely put your strength up against hers and hold her back, or push her off of you. Keep her at arms length, don' wrestle with her, just be firm and consequent. Each time she tries something, stop her physically if you have to, then lecture her about her behaviour and that what she is doing is unacceptable.
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