A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I've been dating a woman casually for about 9 weeks. I'm still not fully over my ex who I had a big row with around Christmas but I thought I'd try dating again. Anyway this new lady is bossing me around. She wants me to get a phone with the same network as her so she we can call each other for free and she's already planning a summer holiday. I see her once or twice a week, casually but she is really starting to wind me up with her demands. She also wants me to have no further contact at all with me ex (I was with the ex for years and and my sons and her daughters from her ex spent holidays together etc). I wanted a cooling off period from my ex (my main problem with her was that I wanted her to lose some weight). I used to criticise my ex a lot but I think I might have jumped out of the frying pan into the fire. My problem is I married young to my first girlfriend but we got divorced. Then my only other serious girl was my ex and she is a decent person but I didn't treat her very well I must say cos I took things out on her from my ex wife and divorce. I am not sure what to do and the last thing I need is this new woman bossing me around. She actually took me to the shop to get a new phone and simcard and is annoyed that I kept the old number because this means my ex can contact me. She also now wants me to change my phone number and email so the ex can't contact me at all. I haven't spoken to my ex for a good few weeks but I would like to speak to her. Any suggestions?? Has anyone else ever been bossed around by a new casual dating partner like this and how did you deal with it?? She said it is 'wrong' to speak to or see my ex, whilst I am dating again but I don't agree. Am I wrong here?? I have been compeltely up front here .Cheers.
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female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (30 March 2010):
 I think you should finish with the new woman if you think it's not working out and shes being the boss of you. You sound a bit shallow to me, and I feel sorry for your ex for being dumped because of her weight. Now your living to regret it, but I dont think you deserve another chance with her unless your prepared to accept her completely as she is.
In one way the new woman has a point. Although I am not bossy, I would be upset if I started dating someone and I discovered they were not fully over their ex and still had contact...but I agree if you were up front about it, she should have dumped you if she saw it as a problem.
You sound like you need some time on your own without a relationship or a dating partner to worry about. That way, you will get to recover from the past without any outside influences and when you are ready for a new relationship, you will have a 'cleaner slate'. You wanted a cooling off period from your ex and thats fine, but it probably wasn't wise to get involved with someone else so soon.
Anyhow
Best of luck!!
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