A
female
age
30-35,
*izzGuyana
writes:I don't only date men who have a good bank account, personality is what matters most to me. I don't depend on men to buy me things, I work and make my own money. BUT is it wrong for me to think that it's a mans duty to look after his women. I want to marry someone who I think can provide for his family. I want him to be the bread winner. I have ambition, and I don't want to be one of those sucessful women that has a man that depends on them. I know someone in that position and I don't want to be like her. She's such an intelligent woman, and I think she deserves so much better because her husband doesn't appreciate her. There are men in this world that think that a women belongs in the kitchen, so is it really wrong for me to think they should be the providers in a marriage?Every woman deserves the best
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2010): I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting your man to be the main provider if that's what you want. As long as your man is also happy with this there shouldn't be any problems.
However, you should be aware that having only one person in the relationship providing the majority of the income does change the dynamics of the relationship, not to mention putting one person under a lot of pressure.
Personally I make three times as much as my husband. Since I'm also a bit younger than him it did cause some problems when I first started earning more than him... but then again he supported me through 5 years of graduate degrees and training contracts.
I think it also helps that he has a very respectable income on his own (over £ 80 K), so he's not exactly a kept man...
A
female
reader, prgirl71  +, writes (3 July 2010):
I totally understand. I always made more money than my husband and I always resented him for not doing more and for not wanting to do more. It's not necessarily that he has to be the ONLY one making money but he should be a PARTNER to you and have a similar ambition level and similar level of earning potential. Not to mention, if you are religious, God says we are to go from our father to our husband's arms and that's why we want a man to "take care" of us. It's not just money it's that they should replace our father and make us feel SECURE. So, no you are not wrong. Just wait for it. The right man will come around that feels that same way.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (3 July 2010):
 If you want a traditional man, then you will have to subject yourself to those 'traditional values' and you cannot have the best of both worlds.
If you are an Alpha woman , you may not have much of a choice.Either you marry down or you are left on the shelf.
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A
female
reader, EbonyBlossom  +, writes (3 July 2010):
 Personally I think both partners should work as it makes them equal and means they are both providing for their kids. I also think they should share all the chores and household tasks equally. You can't have a superior and an inferior in a relationship, it's got to be equal.
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (3 July 2010):
 Then get involved with men that agree with that statement.
Shouldn't be to hard.
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A
female
reader, Lani702 +, writes (2 July 2010):
 There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting the man to be the breadwinner. Set up your boundaries in the very beginning so your future mates - whomever they may be - will know right off of the bat what is expected of them. Don't end up being like me. I spoiled my husband when we were still dating. I paid for EVERYTHING. Now we're married and he won't even spend a dime on me. Christmas? Nothing. Birthday? Nothing. Our anniversary? Come and gone and not even a word about it. I blew it. And now I'm very unhappy. Set your boundaries early and NO, it is NOT WRONG to want the man to be the breadwinner. But to be fair, YOU better be prepared to do your part and take care of the house.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2010): i think its fine as long as you dont mind being told that he wants you to stay at home and wash up then!! if he is the main bread winner would you actually lower your aspirations to be below his??
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (2 July 2010):
 I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting a man to be the breadwinner, as long as you accept that not all men want to be the breadwinner, and not all women want a man to be the breadwinner either. This is not a way things "should" be, it is just the way things should be for you. Or they way you want them to be for your own relationship. Which is totally fine. You just have to find a man who believes in the same things and have the same set of values as you. Then if you and him are happy, who cares what others think?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2010): Historically men alaways were the ones who provided for their families. Women stayed home w/kids. Until late 60s, it was very unussual for a married woman to work. Everything changed after that.
Nowdays a woman that doesn't work is looked down at.
So, it's very natural of you to think that man has to provide. I am sure a lot of people especially men will disagree w/you. They just love talking about women movement not even knowing what it was about. That's why modern men pay their part only at restaurants, don't buy you drinks in a bar, talk about equality all the time.When it comes to making money, it's deffinitely a good idea for a guy to think that one day he will have kids and wife who he'll need to support. Somebody needs to bring up kids, unless you make a choice to put this part on a babysitter.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2010): I am the bread winner in my family and have provided a coush life for my partner. However, the days when it was solely men bring home the bacon are over.
Over the years due to equal rights movements amongst the genders average salaries although still unequal have began to balance out. So back in the day, when men use to bring home much more it was common to have a single bread winner. But now with more equality, it's harder to live such lifestyles off of one single salary. So maybe some can be blamed on yourselves? I mean if you want to stay at home and be pampered, then don't burn your bras and raise hell.
Still with that being said I have no problem spoiling my woman, but it's not as common as it once was is all I am saying. I actually do see more and more Mr. Mom's these days, then you would see let's say 20-30 years ago.
If you say women are equal, then you also must agree that if that's the case, then it's just as acceptable to have a sugar momma as it is to have a sugar daddy. Can't have your cake and eat it too, not in the real world.
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A
female
reader, LLindy87 +, writes (2 July 2010):
 its not wrong to have an opinion and to think that at all. as long as you don't cross the line to gold digger.
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