A
male
age
36-40,
*asirov
writes:I'm terribly short for a man - 62 inches / 157 cm. I never thought of it as a problem until I was 18 and people started pointing out that women prefer tall men. I work out, so much so that recently I've lost about 20 lbs and I'm in the best shape of my life at 27, but I don't think that my working out and getting into great shape will change the fact that I'm still too short for most women. I don't know what to do. I've thought of giving up on seeking a relationship, and I'm too shy to approach women because I'm certain I'll be rejected and so I don't even bother. Most women I've tried to date have told me that I was too short for them, and for most women this seems to be a huge issue. As a result, I don't have the nerve to approach anyone for a date, or even express interest in the women I find attractive. I've been told to "go find someone shorter". But that restricts the pool of women available to me so much that even if I do meet a woman who is my height or shorter, what is the likelihood that we'll even be compatible in other ways? I feel like my height alone has prevented me from fully experiencing relationships and being mature enough for a serious, committed relationship that would lead to marriage, and I'm afraid that this will follow me for the rest of my life. Is there any way of overcoming this? Am I wrong to assume that I am completely hopeless? How can someone like me exude confidence without seeming like I have a "Napoleon complex"?
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male
reader, bruce lee  +, writes (24 June 2013):
 You must not worry about what you can't change. Just grit your teeth and hope for the best. Your luck might change within the next few years. Hasta luego.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2013): Don't let your height stop you from approaching any girl, you silly man!
I tell you something, one of the most- no sorry 'the most' hottest, sexiest guys I have ever ever fancied in my 31 years of existence is short - 5ft 2 ( or maybe a fraction more, but not 5.3) and I'm 5:2. It feels so good when I put my arms around him and our bodies close, one of the things I like about him is his height, but also his confidence. He is so sure of himself, but without being arrogant, I love being the same height cause it makes me feel sexually close to him in a naughty way!
Don't focus on your height, it won't be a problem :)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2013): Have you ever heard of short man syndrome (sms)? It's basically when a short man overcompensates for 'being a man' by overdoing the weights, and being the classic 'man' in other factors, to the point where he becomes an insecure POS to everyone,yes there are women who want tall men, but plenty who it means nothing to, let your personality shine without sms! Trust me most normal women wouldnt even 'look past it', rather would see it as a normal part of you being you. Mo woman falls in love with a man's height, and any sane nice lady knows such things, see your height as a crazy-lady-proof system!
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (23 June 2013):
 "I'm too shy to approach women because I'm certain I'll be rejected"
That's your basic problem, not your hight. Seriously, all the women I know of have, at one point or the other, dated men shorter than them. In none of the cases was his hight the reason they broke up.
Although I must say, my shorter-than-me boyfriend became less attractive in my eyes when he didn't want me wearing high heels. Sheez, just don't get insecure about it, and it's all good. I've seen so many women come in here saying how much the hate even the colour of their eyes (!!) because they think men prefer another colour. How insecure are you going to allow yourself to get?
There was even a big debate with this one girl who was convinced the areolae on her breasts were too big, even though they were perfectly normal. She was absolutely dead set on the idea that men would be disgusted by the size of them, and was going ot get plastic surgery. And you know what, she never even had a boyfriend, never had a man look at her breasts... So there was no actual rejection, it was just her insecurity because "someone" told her men don't like big areolae.
Dude, you're turning into that girl... Too insecure, lacking in confidence, and about to ruin your life because you couldn't love you for the way you are.
"I've been told to "go find someone shorter". But that restricts the pool of women available to me so much that even if I do meet a woman who is my height or shorter, what is the likelihood that we'll even be compatible in other ways? "
Well, what's the likelihood of you being compatible with anyone if you never even meet them? People are compatible with most. We're adaptable like that. And yes, the chances are high you will find someone compatible to you who is also lower, same as the chance of finding someone compatible to you who is taller. Don't create a problem where there is none. Your problem so far in this respect is your lack of experience in relationships, which will take some working through, but that's about it.
"I feel like my height alone has prevented me from fully experiencing relationships and being mature enough for a serious, committed relationship that would lead to marriage, and I'm afraid that this will follow me for the rest of my life."
You are absolutely right in this, if you read it the way I do. You have allowed this feeling to prevent you from experiencing relationships. Preventing you from being mature enough for a serious, committed relationship... It's all in your head.
I would suggest therapy. To learn to love yourself for who you are. To learn how to cope with these obstacles in your mind. Either therapy, or some serious self help. You need to dedicate your time and energy on accepting yourself, and loving the way you are, rather than spend your time and energy on being negative and creating obstacles only you can see.
"How can someone like me exude confidence without seeming like I have a "Napoleon complex"?"
As long as you don't act like a dickhead I don't think anyone would view you as having Napoleon complexes. Don't screw anyone around, don't use women for sex, don't act like an idiot, and you're all good.
And here's a secret about people and relationships: people fall in love, and are attracted to someone, based on their personality. Not looks. If you want proof just look around you and see that the world is not full of photo shopped people, but real life people with bumps and lumps and bald and fat and giants and midgets, and they're all capable of finding love.
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