A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I'm 15 and this teacher is almost 40.But i think I love him.I'm going to be a Sophomore this fall,and I met him the fall of my freshman year,he was my science teacher for 2 sememsters.I have alot of emotional baggage in my life including my mother leaving me when i was 9 for drugs.And one day,he called me to his classroom office after class to talk to me about my grades and how i wasnt doing so hot.He started to ask me stuff about my life and stuff and i willingly told him.So after that,about maybe once a week he would call me to his classroom office and ask me how i was doing and usally i would say stuff like "im okay" he would say "just okay?,nothing better?" and then i would explain the stuff that was making me feel depressed.And then one day,my counsler told me that my teacher said that "we cant lose this one" meaning,letting me turn into a party girl; because one day,i willingly handed over a pack of smokes to him because i told him that i wanted to change.And he brought them home and broke them all and threw them away-i never got into any trouble.For awhile our friendship stayed the same,him pulling me to his office about once a week to check on me and see how i was doing. Then one day i told him that i started dating a guy who was a childhood friend of mine and my teacher asked me how old he was and i told him that he was 18 and he kinda freaked and told me to break up with him because of the age difference and stuff.So that day when I got home from school,I broke up with my boyfriend and acutally wasn't sad.The next day at school I told my teacher and he seemed happy about it.I brushed it off and let it go,even though i thought it was odd that he was happy.After that my relationship with my teacher went back to normal and things were all normal again-then one day,he asked me if I wanted to help him out with the boys track team because he was the coach,i accepted the offer and was really excited that i would get to spend more time with him;because at that time i was already starting to think about him 24/7 and imagane my life with him even though hes married with 2 kids,i felt like there was a chance he would fall for me too.For my 15th birthday,my counsler and him took me out for lunch and it was amazing.But anyways,i went to all the track meets and helped him with taking times and stuff like that.I found out that I was getting paid $75 for it and i was escatic.But one day at a track meet,his wife showed up(which i might add was stunning and made me feel fat and ugly)and they kissed each other right on the field and i almost broke down on my knees and started to bawl;i felt like i was gunna be sick.So I turned my back towards them and secretly shed a few tears.But track season came to an end,and Freshman year was coming to an end as well and then me and my dad got kicked out of our apartment and my grandma said i could move in with her.So he and my counsoler helped me move into my grandmas afterschool one day.But when me and my teacher we waiting for my guidance counsler to finsh up a meeting with the pricipal of our Freshman Campus,so we could carpool to my house in her van;so him and i waited in the sitting area of her office and didnt talk at all.The door opened and they appeared and the principal left her office and my teacher told us to sit down so we could talk.The 3 of us sat there and he said "So,Mrs.****** tells me that you've smoked pot,had sex,and I assume alcohol was in there too..." I fessed up and admitted to it and then he said "Those things can make you feel guilty the 1st time,but after that,you stop feeling guilty and can change a person;and i dont want to see you next year a whole differnet person" After that,summer started and my dad got his own place and i was still at my grandmas.I still kept in contact with my counsler and told her i was thinking about moving in with my dad and she didnt like the idea.She said another teacher was having a wedding and HE was going to be there and she said that she'll tell him i said hi.So after a week or so,we talked again and she said that she told him that i was thinking about moving in with my dad and he didnt think it was such a good idea either.So i am litteraly about to break down,i havent seen or talked to him since June 8 and its August 26th.Help,i cant get him of my mind.Does it seem like he loves me back?!?!Part 2 This goes along with other question about my teacher.I honestly love him and its not just a crush.All my friends say that im obsessed and its wierd beacuse hes so much older.But honestly,i dream of being with him even though hes married with kids.I just need some advice on what to do.I want to be with him so bad that it hurts.Just please help me!
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male
reader, Thelaird1  +, writes (26 August 2011):
 No he does not love you. He is a caring teacher who is doing his job. He asks questions about your personal life so he can possibly find links to any behaviour and to get a better understanding of you, so he can help.You need to put the idea of romance out of your head, as this could become a very dangerous situation for you both. If any of the other teachers heard your friends talking about feelings between you both, it could bring him a lot of problems, also putting him at risk of losing his job and gaining a very unfair reputation among students and teachers alike.It is perfectly normal to have crushes, but like any crush, it will soon pass and you will laugh about it when you get older. Take care and enjoy being with your friends :)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2011): Ever see pretty little liars? With aria and ezra? The student and the teacher? The difference between these two situations is that ezra isn't married with two kids, he isn't 40, he met aria before he knew she was his student and she lied about her age, and that is fiction and this is reality. In real life, that relationship would never work and neither will this one. Especially since he only thinks of you as a student.
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A
female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (26 August 2011):
 He is married with kids. Regardless of your age, that should instantly make him off limits to romantic advances.
The thing about love, is that sometimes we cant have the people we want. That is life, learn to deal with rejection.
As for your specific situation - he is a teacher and he sees you as a child. He doesnt love you, he doesnt think you are sexy and he doesnt want to 'be' with you.
You are mistaking his caring teaching for more than it is.
He has a wife and a family of his own, and a 40 year old man wouldnt want a relationship with a teenager. I know you think you are grown up and mature, but you are not, you are still a child, and to him you are very very very young, naive and inexperienced.
Everyone has a crush on a teacher at some point in their lives. It is not real love, it is hormones, and teenage emotions running wild. You will grow out of it, just focus on your friends, school work and boys your own age. In 5 years time you will look back and understand why this isnt real.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2011): If anything he cares for you like a father would care for his daughter. It is a crush, and honestly I've mistaken love for a crush too. Good luck
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (26 August 2011):
 Of course it's a crush and that's exactly why you are not thinking clearly at the moment. Mistaking concern for your well-being for LOVE is what most school girl crushes have in common. He doesn't love you romantically, he's just doing his job as a caring teacher. Relax you will recover from this CRUSH soon enough.
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