A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:k...to break it down...i grew up with her, were pretty close, her parents are my god parents, and our families are close since we manage a church together and i started having feelings for her since i was in high school... i thought it was just a crush like how you develop it everytime you seem to like the person BUT it’s been going on for years now, like i always think about her and i always feel jealous when she talks to other guys and i want to be there for her all the time like a boyfriend.im now a college graduate (2 years after high school) and she’s on her third year high school.I knew that there’s a keyword in this problem and that is the word “cousin”. But its 3rd generation so were barely blood related, just same families ties.I tried to prevent myself from falling even further, since it can cause a problem in the family and even worse disrupt our church since her dad is a pastor. So i tried going out with other girls...i dated a few girls but never really worked out since i still can’t develop the same feelings for them as i do for her. I also prevented myself from telling her how i feel so theres no awkwardness incase if she doesn’t feel the same way and just to stay away from problems. But as she continues her life she meets new people and i guess i don’t want to regret this. I want to be closer to her.i don’t know what to do and i just want you’re feedback...oh and don’t tell me it’s a sin cause it’s not...especially for 3rd generation cousins. God did not condemn marrying cousins because people in the bible did marry their 1st cousins. Just not good social standards...We also tend to do things as well like.(footsies, hugging, holding hands for some reason and being near the leg area and i geuss casual flirty gestures...) everytime when were together.Sooooo...tell me what you guys really think?Thanks for your opinions...and be honest k?1) no...im not from the south, im from canada2) we dont live in a small town its a BIG city
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cousin, crush, flirt, jealous Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2009): Well if you love your cousin either 2nd cousin or 3rd cousin then go for your love and feel your emotional with her..We're in the same situation bro that's why i want you know that is not a illegal in bible or in law to love 3rd cousin ok?No worries
jr
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2009): Well if you love your cousin either 2nd cousin or 3rd cousin then go for your love and feel your emotional with her..We're in the same situation bro that's why i want you know that is not a illegal in bible or in law to love 3rd cousin ok?No worries
jr
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2009): Your situation is going to depend on how close your families are, how "in touch" your families have kept as realatives and their opinions. HOWEVER I have some GREAT news for you!
My in-laws (husbands parents) are third cousins. It was a big deal to them but not so much their families. (They actually hid it from their children - my husband - and it didn't come out until a few years ago. They said they were 'distant cousins' but never confessed it was third cousins.)
Yes, it's true, the genes are diluted enough that you don't have to worry about genetic freaks! My husband's parents had four very healthy children with no pregancy complications and not so much as a miscarriage. All their children are married and 3 have gone on to have children (although two are plagued by reproductive issues). I don't believe the reproductive issues are caused by any sort of 'inbreeding'. These things just happen.
My husband and I have a son and the only thing I have noticed is that MY genes seem slightly more dominant but he's got plenty of my husband in him! Believe me, when I found out my husbands parents were cousins, I did my research on genetic issues and EVERYTHING I found said that they would not be closely enough related to cause any issues. It's the exact same as any two random people meeting up, marrying & reproducing.
Hopefully this info and the information on TWO generations of offspring from a third-cousin marriage is helpful! Relax, you're totally fine. :) And no, I don't think it's gross. It may be a tad bit taboo because of some state laws that forbid first and second cousins from marrying each other but really, it's nothing embarrassing at all in my opinion!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2009): Science has recently proven that there is enough gene pool dilution when first cousins mate to reduce the likelihood of disorders. So biologically third cousins are even more removed.I dated a third cousin when I was 17. She was smoking hot, but she lived too far away to keep things going. Our families thought nothing of our relationship when we dated. I think they liked it because they knew we were decent people.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2009): If you're worried about the religious aspect, worry no more. The Catholic Church accepts as fact that Mary and Joseph, Jesus' earthly parents, were first cousins.
If I were you I wouldn't waste any more time and let her know what's on your mind. You've got two chances - she either feels the same or she doesn't. If you're playing footsie and hugging etc. there's something there, don't you think?
If you don't say something now, and she gets on with the rest of her life with some other guy, you'll kick your own arse for evermore and live in misery wondering what might have been.
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A
female
reader, Justified  +, writes (1 October 2009):
 Well Since this is your 3rd cousin I don't see a problem most people don't even know their 3rd cousins. I think the blood gets week. Hey as long as the family doesn't get hurt by it then go for Yours.
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