A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i think i'm in an emotionally abusive relationship, although i'm not quite sure. some of the signs i read online just aren't quite suiting, although i just feel something has to be very, very wrong.i've been cheated on and found out, and she begged for forgiveness. and when i finally decided i would give it another try, she told me she'd do everything in her power to make it right and build back trust. that never happened. she made no steps towards making me feel comfortable again. it was all just empty promises to get me back. so when i would express my feelings of hurt over being cheated on and not getting what i needed to move on, she would tell me "how dare you continue to bring this up when you know it's upsetting to me that i did that." so i stopped talking about it.then she started making me feel unimportant. not making time for me, blowing me off, etc. i express this problem and my feelings on it, and at first get told i'm crazy and it's in my head. after it persists i know it's not in my head and i seriously address the issue again, and this time she tells me she's sorry and she'll fix it. well the next day it happens again. and again and again and again. so i finally leave her. i tell her it's over because of how much she's hurting me and i can't take it. and her response is "ok, sounds good." like she doesn't even care. and leaves it at that. but then only hours later or the next day, she's back telling me how sorry she is and she'll fix it, she swears. and how she sees the big picture now and to please give her another chance. i finally got to where i said no, because her words meant nothing anymore. that i needed actions for once to back up all the bs i've been hearing. she says she'll show me. well the next day she makes me feel horrible and unimportant again. so i leave her again. and then it turns into "well if you're going to just give up on us it shows how little you care." etc.i'm constantly wondering if she's cheating or being unfaithful and talking to other people. constantly feeling unloved and uneasy. i'm upset practically every night because i feel so insecure about the relationship and if i'm being lied to. i'm constantly feeling like i'm going crazy and wondering if i'm losing my mind, even though i know i'm a very rational and sane person. i'm so lost. please help.
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male
reader, honestman  +, writes (5 April 2011):
That girl is no good for you.
If she one day tells you she is sorry, and the other she makes you feel like crap, it is very probable you are in an abusive relationship.
Run to the hills!
A
male
reader, Welsh Uncle Dave  +, writes (5 April 2011):
There is no relationship here. When you end it you have to stay strong and keep it that way no matter what she says.
It is blatantly obvious there is only one of you in this "relationship" and the sooner you switch on to that and move on the better.
The fact she cheated on you in the first place should have been enough to end it for good, but you gave her a chance and time and time again, she has proved she is not worth.
Words she says to you are meaningless and accusations of you not caring are designed to hurt you which it seems they are.
Clearly she has issues, but it's not your concern. Move on.
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A
female
reader, baby1moretime +, writes (5 April 2011):
This happened to me in my previous relationship and I am sorry that this is happening to you.
If you think you are in an emotionally abused relationship, chances are that you are IN one.
If you are not happy, why stay?
I broke it off with my boyfriend because he was emotionally mentally verbally abusing me and when I broke it off I was sad, but after a month I feel great, no more crying no more sadness
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