A
male
age
41-50,
*oul83
writes:OK so this is the final question I have about my ongoing relationship...She won't stop using the dating website and reckons she wants to meet people from all over the world to chat to them. I think it's wrong to be using a dating website if she's settled with me. She says it's for fun and harmless friendship.She's an outgoing person who has many male friends. Some of which she has already introduced me to. See I have no problem with her communicating to other guys online if I can see that it's nothing more than friends.BUT I still feel uncomfortable with it. She wants to meet people she's met online - for the benefit of friendship. I don't buy that line. It's not just for friends.I think I am hanging onto something that I should let go of. Just let her go and finish doing her own thing.She claims to have gone back onto the site just recently because she was upset with a couple of things in our relationship (yes we were fighting a fair bit) and she just wanted to scare me. Well seeing her trying to line up a meeting with a guy from the site just crushed my spirit and made me think about giving up. Things still don't seem right with her.She says she still loves me - wants to stay with me. But after all of the words recently, I'm finding it difficult to throw myself back into this. After all, her suggestion this morning was that it should be fine to use the site for forming new friendships. Wants to show me each person she is going to meet? BS! I don't like her attitude about it. It's like going to the club and letting her talk to all of the guys there - she may as well be single right?What to do now? Accept that she will never change that habit? Assume she isn't that into me anymore? ORJust keep a watchful eye on her and see where things go?
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female
reader, cnith  +, writes (9 April 2010):
 dude.... seriously? She's dating people online and you're wondering if you should stay with her...?
Did something fall on your head?
Now me, I'm a chatterbox. I am on facebook A LOT. I never meet people offline though. And my boyfriend has access to everything I own. If he's here, he reads the IM's people sends me. If I'm responding to an inbox message, he reads it. He can, if he wants to. He looks over my texts.
I honestly don't care. I know most people get all hyper over it but I have nothing to hide, he can look all he wants. Ask your girl if you can do the same, I bet you she says flat out no.
I am on a 'dating site' too but listed as 'seeing someone and looking for friends.' On facebook it says I'm in a relationship. I still get hit on and asked to 'stray' but I don't and my boyfriend has seen it.
I will tell you something though, she can be lively and she can be friendly or whatever...but if she was really JUST meeting friends, she'd be OK with you going with her.
That's what I've told my bf. If I were to meet someone online in real life, I'd want him to go so I don't meet up with a psycho and get in trouble. But that's me.
If you have doubts, like you do, and they're coming from your guts...chances are you're right and you should move on.
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