A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Long story short, I feel like I am having a quarter-life crisis. I turned 23 this year and although I am in a good career already and finished university, I have become paranoid about EVERYTHING. From the way I look to the friendships/relationships I have, I feel like I am completely in a state of anxiety about everything. I've had a really tough year as my boyfriend moved out of the country to a place 5000 miles away and we have been trying (and, regularly, failing) to make it work long distance. My general anxiety is affecting my relationship and I feel like I cannot trust him. He has made silly mistakes in the past - never cheating, but lying about things and making fairly innocent things become suspicious because of the lack of honesty - and I cannot let go of them. He also has a temper and tends to say very insulting things, which he later apologises for, but it affects my confidence constantly and I can never forget what he has said. That is basically my problem in a nutshell. I just feel like my life is falling apart and that nothing is constant. I, hilariously, always dreamed of being married at this age or soon-ish and starting a family, but with my absolute paranoia and anxiety about everything I feel like my relationship is breaking down and that will never happen.Any opinions or advice would be much appreciated. Thanks so much in advance.
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confidence, long distance, moved out, university Reply to this Question
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (14 November 2016):
 Your relationship is bringing you down. His little lies has made you paranoid and anxious. Trust is not there and I doubt it will ever come back. You need to take a step back and deal with these issues that you have. Trust your gut, if it says the relationship has failed then believe it and end things. Then slowly get your life back on track. Get on to a mental health specialist and get the help that you need.
A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (13 November 2016):
 I think you may be right - your relationship seems to be breaking down. You cannot change a negative into a positive. You can however change a negative into reality.
From the earliest wisdom comes 'acceptance'. If you can accept what is happening and what has happened, then perhaps you can begin to deal with it and rebuild.
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