A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i am 24, college educated (have a bachelors degree and starting my masters in a couple of months), I get a lot of compliments from guys so I think that I am good looking, I am athletic so i keep myself in shape and always dress nice, I am very clean because i am so serious about hygiene so i make sure i always smell good, have a job in my field, very laid back personality like to have fun (clean fun), a lot more mature than people my age, I am still a virgin because I believe in waiting for that special person (sex to me should be between two people in love and who trust each other),I dont smoke, drink lightly (probably 4 times a year and that is probably two drinks each time (nothing strong), love to cook and am told that I do a very good good job at it yet i am single... It didnt bother me before but my family and friends are always asking me how come i am single so i start asking myself that question .. I have guys tell me "you will make such a great mother/wife" yet i am still single. what exactly am i doing wrong? I see people with some crazy attitudes, dont do anything with their lives, sleep around with anyone yet they have someone ...last night one of my closest guy friends asked me "are you pushing guys away when they try to talk to you? what is going on? how come you are not introducing us to someone? ... you have been single so long ... is that you choice?" and yes I have been single for four years.the funny thing is that i dont push them away! I always smile and engage in the conversation if they approach and that does not happen often... usually what i get is a guy that i catch staring at me with a smile ... they stare constantly but dont approach ... sometimes i smile back ... once i do that they approach me and we talk and have a great conversation but it never goes pass friendship which is fine ... because i dont mind having guy friends .. they are funny and drama free so i totally enjoy their company. They constantly invite me to the movies, out to eat, social gatherings, their place to hang out ... and i do hang out with them when i have free time (which is not very often because of work schedule and driving time to and from work), we always have a good time... laugh like crazy we are crazy and are very comfortable... these same guys later on ask me about my relationship life and tell me they dont understand why im single ... i am starting to get worried a little bit because I am trying to figure out why that is ...
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much for your advice... I do agree that I am not putting myself out there as far as flirting and being more daring with the guys ... The reason, is because i dont want to assume that they would like to be more than friends if that is not really what they want ... I will try to be more open and flirty i guess.
I do also agree that i may be a better match for someone who is older, in his 30's ... hmm I'll see how it goes...
A
female
reader, sammy1986  +, writes (11 July 2011):
sound like men are intimidated by you that why they probably darent approach you i would try dating someone a little older than you maybe about late twentys early 30,s
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2011): You sound too passive/neutral to me.
If you want people to have more interest in you, it takes more than just conversation. There needs to be signals and flirting. You need to be willing to take risks.
Try being more spontaneous. Try new things. Try taking risks. Next time a guy talks to you try to take it beyond friendship BY YOURSELF.
And you don't have to give up your virginity right away if you don't want to, but make sure that there is sexual chemistry between you and somebody you want.
Wanna know a way to turn a guy into a boyfriend very fast? Kiss him.
I'm not telling you to go run around and kiss every guy on the block. However, if you meet new guys and you treat them just like friends, they will never grow into more than friends.
I don't mean it to sound very hurtful or rude, but you come across as kind of "plain". Or a "good girl". Be willing to take more risks and make mistakes. Do things that might have negative consequences but you do for the thrill of doing them. Share those with somebody.
Less subtlety, and more romance. Think about what it means to be "romantic", and try to introduce that to your life.
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