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male
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anonymous
writes: Hi,exactly 2 months ago me and my girlfriend of 5 months split up. She said she "doesnt feel the same anymore, and we werent right together" we were both 19 by the way...Im still not over her to this day, and still think about her all the time, but obviously not told her as i know she doesnt want to get back together. We decided to remain friends though. It would be hard not to really, as her friends are also my friends...Though recently, as much as im still im love with the girl, i DO like to see her still, but im also starting to feel like i dont want to see her anymore. Its quite confusing; when shes not there, i think it would be nice if she was, but when shes there, i just wish that she wasnt...We are talking less and less, i feel i dont have much to say to her anymore, which upsets me. But at the same time, its me CHOOSING not to talk to her. I find it MUCH easier when shes not around...Dont know what im asking here really, just needed to get it off my chest. I find it difficult when we all go out in a group, as i talk to everyone normally, except her...thanks
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female
reader, anon2907  +, writes (31 July 2006):
 Interestingly, I've got a completely different point of view to Thachorie.
The girls in all three situations sound like they're trying to stay friends with their ex's perhaps not realising that it's actually quite dificult to hang out with someone you still have feelings for. Or else, they know full well what they're doing and are flirting and playing on the fact that they know you still like them - you're like an ego boost to them.
No wonder it'd be much easier if they weren't around.
I say there's no harm in having time away from the ex when you've broken up so you've got time to get over it. If they decide they've made a mistake they'll contact you, but it's much better for your own self esteem to get over it without having to put up with their flirty behaviour whether it's deliberate or not.
Even if you share friends, try to avoid hanging out with the ex on a regular basis until you feel you're over it. And once you are over it, it's quite nice to know you're mature enough to keep your ex as a friend.
Good luck with keeping the distance.
Anon2907
A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI would tell her, but i'm 90% sure she doesn't feel the same and i dont wan't her to feel even more uncomfortable around me than already by telling her i still love her.
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A
female
reader, Thachorie +, writes (30 July 2006):
 Hi i have been through this exact problem but the other way round. Usually ,as a female i know this, women are still in love with men and regret breaking up after they have done but then are too afraid to do anyhting about getting back together. I was still in love with my boyfriend and when i told him.About 7 months later, he took me back with his arms wide open and know we are engaged. I believe you should tell her how you feel as she probably feels the smae way. I know what you mean when you say you find it easier when shes not around, you miss her when shes not around but you miss what you had when she is aorund. Tell her how you feel no doubt you'll get back together if thats what you want.
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A
male
reader, iloveamy  +, writes (30 July 2006):
Mind if I join the club too?I split from my girlfriend of over 5 years 3 months ago...we both agreed to end it - but we wanted to stay friends. We've seen each other only like 5 or 6 times sonce, but when we do all our feelings come rushing back. I NEED to see her, but when i have - i hurt like hell until i see her again :(I want her back, she says her heart wants me but her head is telling her NO.GGGRrr!!!!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2006): man... exact same thing here.. sort of. i haven't gotten over my ex for over a year but she still insists on talking to me all the time and sounds as if she's flirting... i also don't think i should be talking to her yet i do and have the same feeling as u when shes not there... im lost too, hope there's some good response here
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