A
female
age
41-50,
*uzyq54321
writes:I have a question about a sorta thing I had going with a guy. We have never actually met but we have mutual friends that thought we should. So here's what happened. We started talking on fb a lot two weeks ago. I was under the impression we were both looking for something more then dating but not super serious. So that's how I played it. Keep in mind I'm very sarcastic and blunt. Everything was going well at least I thought so. Until a few days ago. He just sorta stopped talking to me. Not completely I think I may have came on too strong. I probably said something jokingly and maybe he took it seriously? I'm a huge flirt too and I think that I said something along the lines of I play for keeps so you better watch out. Now I think he's freaked out. I told him don't be scared I don't bite unless you ask me too. With a ?? He laughed and whatever. We have been flirting back and forth for a few weeks now. I'm not sure where I went wrong but I am totally into him. So any advice on how to get back would be great. Is there going back? He was chatting with me this morning? He also works on the road so that doesn't help. He said he was going to be in town this weekend. I assumed he was saying that so i would know so I asked him if he wanted to get together. He said deal. But he then said he was going to maybe be going out of town early Saturday and be back late Sunday. I said take me with you. I know that was really forward and he said deal if my daughter doesn't want to go. I'm pretty sure I messed up. Please any advice would be appreciated.
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (18 March 2016):
 I agree with SVC and the whole meet up time line.
Some people just like the "game" or fantasy of chatting and getting attention. Even if some mutual friend thought you would be good together.. you ARE still strangers.
If he DOES call you for a meet up while he is in town, go for a lunch or dinner and don't invite him home after. While you might have hinted strongly that you are a sexual person, you STILL really don't know him.
I don't think you said anything totally faux pas. But maybe you came onto him more strongly than you meant to come across.
The whole "hint hint nudge nudge" can seem a little immature, since you REALLY don't know each other.
I would NOT text/IM him any further. I'd see what happens.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (18 March 2016):
 Rule one on meeting folks online, if you live close and don't meet IRL within a few weeks, then it's nothing but fun and games and time wasting.
IF you live more than 3 hours apart but less than an 18 hour plane ride, then meeting within 3 months is a good thing.
NOT meeting in real life means it's NOT important and it's just a place holder or time waster.
Sounds like he's just not that into you or interested in you....
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2016): You didn't mess up. Frankly the whole playing "hard to get" game some women play can be childish at times. My advice is stop all these messages because they can be misinterpreted easily and people often read between the lines when their is no need to. Its hard to convey humor through dry texting.You showed your interested so now back off and let him make the moves. Limit your non face to face interactions with him and meet him in person. But if he initiates contact that's great and you should respond to his text. Its okay to let him know when you MIGHT be available as this conveys your time is valuable or to hint at getting together, but under no circumstances whatsoever should you blatantly tell him to take you anywhere as this kills the "chase". Asking for a man to take you somewhere should be reserved for when you are in a relationship as this is when your entitled to ask each other for things. If he is being flaky on setting up dates then you go M.I.A on him until he realizes that you mean business. Remember good gets rewarded with good and bad with bad. Three strikes he should be out. If it works out, great. if it doesn't, oh well.
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