A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I have been going out with my boyfriend for almost 7 years, everything was perfect up until about a year ago, I have mentioned to him how I feel, when im around him I adore the ground he walks on and never want to leave him but when im home I act like im a single person, lately I am getting really annoyed with him even when he doesnt do anything wrong. We only see each other weekends and the only way we see each other is if I go to his but his family arnt very fond of me and makes this all very difficult. I have tried to tell him before that we need a break because I feel guilty with how I act and he starts crying telling me he doesnt care cause he loves me and eventually I just cant stand to hurt him. I am afraid if I leave him, how he will be? He also has recently started working with me which if we break up I will be seeing him every day. He treats me very well and I do love him to bits but with a few drinks on me it is as if I completely forget about him, my friends are constantly telling me to break up with him because it is not fair on him. Im so lost and dont know what to do, I dont want to leave him but am constantly making this mistake.Please help
View related questions:
a break Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2012): You need to either break up or figure out why you are unhappy.
Playing the single when he is not around but GF when he is will lead to cheating and big problems.
If you do cheat, and it doesn't work out with the new guy who you think is so absolutely wonderful, you will crawl back to your crushed BF and it will either 1. never be the same (if he takes you back) or 2. end up with him not taking you back and you regretting what you have done.
At least by breaking up with him now, you avoid being a cheater, and if you later realize that you were just being a greedy "grass is greener" girl, you can come back to him with clean hands and ask for a second chance.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (15 October 2012):
 I agree with SVC - people don't need breaks to make a relationship better, life doesn't work that way.
And your friend is right, you need to set him free.
...............................
A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (15 October 2012):
 I agree with SVC. You are likely just so used to this relationship that the thought of ending it is unimaginable even though it's what you need. You don't need a break, you need to break up. It's going to hurt him, and going to be hard, but it's not fair to him and he will eventually move on. Like SVC said, he's emotionally blackmailing you into staying and that's not fair to you.
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (15 October 2012):
 if you have been with him for 7 years... I'm hoping and praying you are 21... that still means you have been together since you were 14/15... so very young....
what happens if you don't go to his place on a weekend? does he come to you? why not?
HE is not your responsibility. YOU are... if you need to "take a break" (and to be honest that's usually the precursor to breaking up) then you need to take a break and how he copes is his issue. he's using emotional blackmail to keep you tied to him.
you said " am constantly making this mistake."
I'm sorry but that's a COP-OUT... it's not a mistake... you want your freedom and you are doing it when he's not around... eventually you will meet someone that you want to try a relationship with and you will either cheat on your boyfriend or leave him anyway.... you are already testing the waters.
your friends are right... you are not being fair to him.
be an adult and behave like one... end it before you do something regrettable.
...............................
|
