A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:You probably get questions like this all the time, but I really need to get this off my chest. I want to apologize for how long this question is and I want to say thanks for reading it. I need some advice here and I appreciate any responses I get.The bottom line is that in a typical teenage fashion, there's this guy that I really, really like and I have no idea if he likes me back.I'm a guy too and I’ve always thought I might be gay. I told my mum a couple of years ago and she was really cool about it, so now I’m really comfortable with my sexuality and I know I’m gay. My family has always supported me through it, so that isn't really a problem. Not many people at school know I'm gay, other than my best friend, and she only knows because she liked me a few years ago, but that's all in the past now. She's my best friend in the whole world and I love her to pieces (but not, you know, like that).I can’t really ‘come out’ without making other people feel uncomfortable, because I'm part of the school swimming team, and if a bunch of guys had to splash about half naked with me in a pool, there would undoubtedly be a lot of problems. I'm not a pervert - I don't check the guys our or watch them in the showers or anything. I have pretty old fashioned values so I think people shouldn't be looked at without their knowing, especially since it's by another guy. Anyway, about a year ago a new guy moved into my school, and we hit it off right away. He's kind, understanding, very smart and he makes me laugh until my sides hurt. I thought nothing of it, since I assumed he was straight, but when I think back on it now he was always doing pretty weird stuff, like hugging me and touching my leg when we watched movies, that sort of thing. I got into a fight with one of my friends and got pretty upset about it, but he could tell instantly when he saw me that I was upset, and he was so sweet about it. He hugged me for well over an hour and stroked my hair, telling me everything was going to be okay. He's always been very sweet like that, but I think that's when I suddenly realized I liked him, and I had liked him for quite a long time.That was a few months ago, but it's not the last time something like this has happened. He joined my swimming team about four, five months ago (about three weeks after the whole crying thing) and sometimes I think he's checking me out in the showers or in the pool, but I don't know because I don't want to get my hopes up too much.Another other thing that's really confusing me is something that happened a few weeks ago. We sleep over at each other's houses quite often, probably once or twice every month at least, but the last time I was over there he was acting a little weird. He was being very distant and I think he kept staring at me, but he just looked kinda flustered when I asked him what was wrong. He didn't say anything but later I accidentally fell asleep on his bed when he was taking a shower (I normally sleep on the floor) and when I woke up he was just kinda holding me from behind against his chest. In the morning he was acting really jumpy, stuttering when I tried to bring it up (I just really wanted to tell him I liked him, but in the end I couldn't) and eventually I dropped it. There’s a few other things that have made me think sometimes I might have a chance; he doesn’t really talk about girls to me or to anyone, and sometimes he just laughs at me (with me, more like it) and calls me adorable or cute if I do something childish or whatever. He smiles at me all the time and it makes my heart race. One time we got locked in a cupboard as a prank and he got really scared (he’s claustrophobic, especially in the dark) and he clung to me so tightly until we managed to get out. He's acting the same as he always is, hugging me and stuff when I go to his house, touching my hand, being there for me and all that. I can’t stop thinking about him; all I want to do is kiss him and more or hold his hand or just cling to him when he’s close. I dream about him almost every night and it’s driving me insane. It's killing me a little inside not being able to tell him how I feel.I think I'm falling in love with him, and I wish I knew how he felt too. So, dear readers, that's my story. My question to you is, what do you think? Could he like me? Should I tell him? I'd really appreciate any advice you can give me, and I'd love to hear as many opinions on this as possible.Thank you, and I'm sorry for rambling. I appreciate any advice.
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female
reader, Dr Bex +, writes (13 October 2010):
Hey honey, Firstly Im glad you have the courage to ask for advice as I can totally see you have been bottling this up inside of you for a while. Please dont apologise for rambling either - thats what we're here for. From what you have said it sounds like this boy most definitely has a crush on you. I think we all know when someone likes us or when something is a fantasy. We all have an intuition and I think you are completely on the right track. The things you describe is normal behaviour of someone having sexual feelings for someone else. Maybe he is scared that it will not be reciprocated by you and thats why he is acting this way. I think you need to confront him for sure. Maybe not in hey do you like me but test the water a bit. How often do you see him? Is there ever a chance when you're both alone?. The best situation would be when its just the two of you and you can engage in conversation. It sounds like you both really like each other but are both a bit scared about telling one another. If you were straight and this had been a girl what would you be thinking? You'd be thinking yep I'm in with a chance here! so thats exactly what you should be thinking here. Tell him how you feel. Even if it is through email/facebook chat etc. Love, lust is hard to find and it sounds to me like you're a match made in heaven! Good luck.
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