A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I was getting pretty close to a man in the last few months but was unsure if I wanted to just stay as close friends or go further with him which he was wanting to do. Anyway, because I was indecisive and unsure he has suddenly moved on to another woman now which has hurt me. he knows I'm bitter about it as we did get on well and he is also a lot cooler with me now. As I result I am now feeling hurt and wished I'd made a move when I got my chance. I have had a broken heart before - but now when I have tried to move on since - I can't stop thinking what might have been.. How do I get this man out of my head? - I would like to stay his friend but things are awkward now.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2014): You'll probably always wonder, to be honest. That's the nature of this sort of dynamic. I mean like all heartbreak, time heals all wounds. With each passing day it will become more and more bearable. The uncertainty you felt about him might eventually pop back in your head and you'll realize you were more hurt that you lost the attention he gave you more than because you lost the opportunity to be with him. He seems more desirable now because he is with someone else. "There are many things we would throw away if we were not afraid that others might pick them up." Know that quote? Something to think about. Maybe if you had known that other women wanted him, you would have snatched him up when you had the chance. But it still doesn't change the fact that without having this knowledge, your interest wasn't as piqued as it is now. Before you found out that he had other options, you weren't that interested in him. Just remind yourself of that when you feel down. Do your best to keep things in perspective.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (15 December 2014):
 What made you hold back initially?
You said you knew him a few months and he wanted more. My guess is your gut told you he was moving too fast for you. I mean he moved on pretty fast too, so really HOW serious was he about you?
I think you NEED to really listen to your gut. And it told you that there was something "lacking" or "missing" initially for you to feel comfortable or willing to go further.
If things are awkward, don't try and "force" a friendship. Just stop staying in contact.
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