A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have known this boy well for four years now. Over these years, we have built a close friendship - or at least, I perceive it that way. I consider him one of my best friends, and I know he considers me at least a good friend, but this is part of the problem, I cannot really tell what he thinks of me. Over the four years, many people decided we were boyfriend and girlfriend, which we both denied. I denied it more vigorously, as I did not have feelings like that back then, or at least did not feel them intensely enough to recognize them as love. Now, however, I am fairly convinced I love him. When I say love, I mean the genuine type. However, because I cannot read his feelings, I don't know what to do. I am fairly certain that if I confessed, and he did not reciprocate my feelings, our relationship as friends would become extremely awkward and would never be the same. His friendship is invaluable to me, and if he does not return my feelings there is no reason to make him feel uncomfortable by confessing! I have seen his reaction to an indirect confession before, and he didn't even know who it was but felt very awkward and embarrassed, he doesn't consider himself good enough.How to tell if he loves me? I have no clue. He is not typical of boys his age, 18, and he's never dated (neither have I, for that matter). In fact, for a long time, he claimed to be asexual. More recently, however, he has told me he does in fact have feelings of that sort, and I also read a blog article he posted some time ago contemplating love, stating that he did feel it, but wished he didn't because he feels it is 'impure', unlike friendship, and only ends in tragedy.So even if he did have feelings for me, would it be right to confess, and would he actually admit to them? I have tried to be the best friend and support I can possibly be to him, and I do not mind being silent if he's happy that way, but I think it's wrong to keep such strong feelings hidden. To make matters more pressing, in a few months we will be going to opposite ends of the country, as we are both starting university. Perhaps this means that it is too late to start any sort of relationship anyway.Please, if you could possibly clarify any of my confusion, it would be of great help!
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female
reader, angelsrock18  +, writes (24 June 2009):
 i think you should confess to him you're feeling's.
love is the one thing you do not want to lose, it is stronger then anything else. if you don't tell him you will never know how he feel's, and if he feel's the same i would give him a huge hug and maybe a kiss, whatever you want. before any of this ask him about moving to universities and if he is going to miss you. after you confess you're feeling's tell him if it is too akward then you can go back to the way you were before, and tell him you don't want it to be akward at all. i hope thing's work out good.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2009): That has happened to me before and i know its hard but ask him if you are as good of friends as you say you are then you would be friends no matter what you tell him
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A
female
reader, thatgothgirl20 +, writes (24 June 2009):
 I don't think that you should try to start a relationship with him, but I think that before yall go to opposite ends of the country you should tell him how you feel.
This may cause an awkwardness, but at least you would have gotten it off of your chest. Be fair and wait for his reaction though, don't just call him, tell him, and then hang up. Tell him in person, before you get ready to leave, and when he has time to tell you his reaction.
Tell him everything that you are feeling such as, "You are a good friend and I have enjoyed getting to know you. I have come to love you in fact, but I do not expect a relationship or anything from you, just that we remain friends, if that is alright with you." This is his cue to say "Actually I love you too," or "Okay yes I would like to remain your friend."
Hope this helps.
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