A
female
age
30-35,
*urplejpp
writes:So I think Ive pretty much lost one of my really good friends and I dont know how to get him back. He and I actually dated our senior year of high school, but even after breaking up we were still really good friends. We always still talked to each other and everything, but towards the end of our senior year things kinda went bad and I stopped talking to him. And I didn't decide to get our friendship back until about 2 months ago. We started talking again just like old times and after a month, we decided to hang out with each other. We also decided that we wanted to do some sexual things with each other since he and I have been single for while and miss doing those things but not have sex at all. We were having a really great time. We went to the movies, talked for a litte bit and then started having some fun. We said it'd best not to have sex but we kinda changed our minds at some point. But then I changed my mind again and didn't want to. I could tell he wasn't even sure he wanted to either. I felt so bad though about the whole and a started crying. He consoled me and wouldn't take me home until he knew I was ok. When we talked the next day, I still felt really bad but we were just gonna forget about it. I'll admit I was starting to have feelings for him again and I thought he was too so I asked him if he did. He said there might be a little there, but there's probably always gonna be feelings there with a ex. I was pretty disappointed but later I told him that I didn't want that to ruin or friendship, I just wanted to go back to before I told him about my feelings. He didn't text me back after that, so the next day I asked him if we were ok and he didn't answer, so I sent another text later cause I wasn't sure if something was wrong with us and I wanted to know. He told me to stop and that we were fine but he never texted again after that and he used to text me all the time. I realize that I probably seemed really worried and Im sure it came off a little annoying to him but I just didn't want to lose our friendship again. We haven't talked since and I just want my friend back. Is it possible to get him back?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Welsh Uncle Dave  +, writes (21 February 2011):
I'm not a mind reader so can't tell what he's thinking, but perhaps maybe he did want to rekindle something but felt rejected after you said you wanted to stay friends.
Another possibility is that he may have felt awkward over the whole uncertainess between you two over the should you, shouldn't you have sex.
Of course, I could be totally wrong on both counts - only he can answer the question.
Maybe he needs a bit of space and that might be why he told you to stop texting. Leave it a few days and if you haven't heard anything send him a text, just asking if he's ok and what he's been up to.
Don't go into why haven't you been texting etc.
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