A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello im looking for some help with a situation with my best friend who is a girl.We have known each other since we were 15 and were now 25, we were always really close but never anything more, i knew she liked me but at the time i was young and wasnt interested in anything serious, so i played it down in a way that made it appear as i was oblivious to her liking me.She moved away and just recently got back in contact and it was just like old times, but this time round i fell for her big time. As i mentioned earlier ive never been one for relationships and never really liked a girl before the way i like her.So didn't know how to go about it, so i tried my best not let it show until i thought she felt the same, she always wanted to hug me and give me kisses, and mid sentences would tell me she loved me( all this came out when she had been drinking) and just did so many things that made me think she felt the same, that would take up too much time to type.So i told her one night how i felt and she never really replied just went quiet and i did all the talking, i asked her if she felt the same and she theres no sexual chemistry ( i feel stupid now for not returning the hugs/kisses etc... when she was wanting one).So i went home pretty dissappointed and also felt like i had been played a little, but she texted me soon after saying, she still wanted me to hang out with her, that i had no idea how highly she thought of me, and that if it was meant to be it would happen, and she had never had the time to think of me as anything other than a good drink and chat.This also hurt me as i felt it was just more leading on, to say things like it could happen etc... and also because she couldnt even call me friend after all these years and i was just a good chat and drink to her.So i stopped calling her and she hasnt called either, how can someone who ive spent all these years with and her with me, not care even care about our friendship enough to call ?.The biggest dissappointment to me and you may correct me if you think im wrong is that i feel she was testing me with the hugs,kisses, i love you and all the other things to see if there was something there, and i blew it by trying to appear just friendly until i was sure, and what i should have been doing was returning it.thanks for any help you can give and sorry about the long read.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2010): Well, you might see this as the end but did you ever truly think that she was "the one"? I see it this way, you kind of ignored her when she liked you and now she's doing the same to you. Revenge? Maybe, but she may have also thought that you'd never feel the same way she felt about you. I would imagine she'd be shocked to hear such news. Women need time to think about these things.
As to ignoring you, she probably has not made up her mind or she is too scared to reply. Chances are, she wants to say the right thing to you because you are not just any guy.
My advice is to wait and see how it pans out. If you meet a nice girl while you're waiting, don't hesitate either. Who knows, it might be the love of your life.
There is, however, a tiny detail you should know about. Girls are tricky. Sometimes we like to test the water, catch a fish, and throw it back. So guard that beautiful heart you've got there and think deeply.
Just ask yourself what will I regret the most?
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (1 May 2010):
 I think you answered your own question, that you blew your chances by standing back. This is a huge lesson for your next love relationship. If you feel for someone, SHOW IT! Women bond by emotions - touching, kissing, holding hands, long talks staring into eyes, that sort of thing. You *must* come to grips with that, or you'll lose more girls.
One of the greatest complaints women have is an emotionally cold and distant partner. Don't be so scared of getting hurt or not looking manly.
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