A
male
age
36-40,
*dwards
writes:I've been dating this girl for a few months and I am worried I am the reason for all her problems.We get along great and have lots of fun together but everyone makes comments on the fact that we are so opposite of each other. And its true we couldnt be any more different even if we tried.I am 27 and work at a local tatto shop. I dropped out of university when partying and drugs became more important then an education. I lived on a down hill spiral until I reached bottom and had no choice but to clean up my life. I have been drug free for almost 4 years now. I love the night life and the occasional party but I know my limits now. I have several tattoos and body piercings.She is perfect, the innocent girl next door. She comes from a very wealthy family and is very close to her twin brother (who works at he same shop as I do)and her father who is a well respected doctor. She has an 18 month old son, who is amazing. She is outgoing yet shy and is the girl tha makes every guy look in her direction when she walks in a room. How I ended up with her is beyond me.Ever since we started dating she has been on the outs with her father mainly because he was made it very clear that I am not good enough for her. Her twin broher (who I get along amazing with) seems to secretly feel he same way. She wants us as a couple to spend time with her family but everytine we do it ends up with her and her father in an arguement which usually comes down to me. She is in the middle of a nasty custody battle with her sons fathers family and now they have brought up my past to use against her. I have a criminal record from stupid stuff I did when I was using but have not had any trouble since then.I can honestly say I love her and her son and would do anything for them but at the same time I wonder if things would be easier for her if I wasnt in the picture. What should I do, I dont want to make things difficult for her
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female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (24 May 2012):
 Your past isn't helping her, obviously but it is not the source of the problem.If you up and leave her she won't believe you're doing it for her sake (nor would anyone else). She'll know you're just running away and using her as an excuse. What would be your plan after that? Come back when all is calm and copacetic? Gee, that's just what any gal wants; a boyfriend who is only there when the going is good. Like I said earlier, if you want out, just say so and make a clean break of it. Otherwise let her decide what she can and can't handle.She wants a partner, not yet another person who thinks they know what's best for her.
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (24 May 2012):
 But... you're not the one causing drama. Her dad is. If anyone should feel bad it should be her dad, who is the one putting this pressure on her, nagging on her, making things difficult for her. You're not the one causing the problems... Why can't you see that? Her DAD is causing the problems.
If you leave her you'll just break her heart.
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A
female
reader, Annonymous..  +, writes (24 May 2012):
 awe. the way you express yourself of her is really sweet. you shouldnt feel that way maybe you should consider asking her out for a coffee and sit down and talk about thhings ask her how she really feels about everything maybe your just something new! and she dosent know how to react.. towards you because maybe she really likes you! but stay strong the best way to maintain a relationship is communication!:D GOOOOOD LUCK!
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A
male
reader, Kaiz  +, writes (23 May 2012):
Hey man, just read your post. If your really want this girl you should never allow someone else apart from you and your girl stop you, never. As for her father talk to him, you don't need his approval, it would be good to but it isn't necessary to get it from him. I understand you feel like you are the reason for disputes between your girls dad and her and your not. Her dad feels uncomfortable with you being with her and that's his problem. I would suggest you become social with him maybe eventually just show him your a nice guy and be there for her daughter when she needs it. Showing him your there for her through anything and everything will eventually show him your good enough for her, because I'm sure you have plenty of things to offer that most men can't. Take care and good luck
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A
male
reader, edwards +, writes (23 May 2012):
edwards is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI feel horrible to add any stress on her, she is 22, a single mom, student and works. she has enough to deal with without amy drama from me but I hate to even think about being away from her.
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A
female
reader, Ciar +, writes (23 May 2012):
If you want to leave her for YOU, that's your decision, but what is in in HER best interests is HER call to make. She knows better than you do what she can and cannot handle.
She already feels as though people around her are trying to control her and for you to leave her because YOU'VE decided what is best for her, would just be another outrage, not to mention more stress for her.
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A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (23 May 2012):
I think you'd make it difficult for her if you left her. Then she'd still be the girl who didn't get her fathers approval, but she'd also be the girls who's father drove her boyfriend away. Not much fun.
Stick around unless this becomes too much of a problem for YOU, or until she tells you herself that this is too much for her. Until then, let her fight her battles. If she is as great as you say she is, then she can handle this as well.
Stick to her like glue!
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