A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I think I am falling for a younger co worker. He works in a different dept so we do not have to interact much but we IM eachother everyday all day long. He usually initiates it. He is 25 and I am 42. I have never been married and he recently split from his girlfriend of 4 years. We have gone out to two after work functions in the past two months and each time he stayed by my side all night. I cannot figure out if he is interested in me or just hanging with me because I am the only one he talks to alot at work. Other coworkers have told me they think there is something there because he talks to me all the time. He stops at my desk everyday when he leaves for lunch and when he leaves at the end of the day. We don't IM much when we are not at work (sometimes he is on at home and so am I). I have given him compliments and hints somewhat but everyone else seems to think he is clueless. I don't know if I should say something as I don't want to make him uncomfortable. I think about him all the time. Sometimes I think he is interested and other times I am not sure. He has mentioned to me that there is a girl at his gym he wants to talk to but he has yet to do it. He told me it doesn't really matter to him if she is not interested in him. Not sure what to think of those comments. Maybe he just wants to be friends and talks to me because he is bored. What should I do?
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male
reader, sleepyhollow  +, writes (10 May 2007):
In all likelihood he is on the rebound. He knows you're attracted to him, and he draws reassurance from that. Kind of like an emotional vampire.
Just be friends. Don't fall for him. If you need to, think of him as a nephew. If he's a really good guy, think about which of your younger female friends might hit it off with him.
But keep in the forefront of your mind that he just got out of a relationship and that the two of you are probably more likely to get into drama than actually hit it off romantically.
(I've been in situations where all the fun is in the flirting and mutual attraction, but anything more is usually far more explosive and stressful than what any sane person wants out of a relationship. Enjoy one another's company and friendship, and just be friends.)
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