A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I really like this guy.. I met him a couple of years ago through a mutual friend. Then we ended up having a class together at university. We became really good friends in that class, despite him having a serious girlfriend at that time. Since that class together, we went our separate ways -- he went on an internship and I went overseas to study. Now that I'm back in the U.S., he has graduated university and moved to another state. Even though time and distance have separated us, we still keep in contact. For the past two months, we talk on a daily basis over messenger and texting. We've talked about numerous topics, and he has mentioned that he broke up with his girlfriend earlier this year so he's single. I'm not sure if I'm right, but I think he's interested but just very shy? I know that guys go after what they want, and if he wanted to date me he would ask. But maybe he doesn't know what to do since we're in different states. Either way, I am definitely interested. Should I tell him? Or would that ruin the friendship? If I do tell him, how should I say it without completely humiliating myself and him?
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female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (8 December 2015):
 You can guess and fill in the blanks for him. He's single so he can kiss other people, sext other people without cheating. He's single so he can start another relationship with you. He's single just as a fact, and nothing else. There's definitely a good platonic friendship thing going on but I don't if just saying he's single is enough to say he's interested in dating you. It depends on your interactions when you got to see him. Did you get close enough to touch each other but not considered cheating? Did your eyes connect and you both feel a spark?
I think you should talk about future plans about where you are going to live before even thinking about relationships. A couple who has to live separately because they are in transition with their new jobs is tough enough. I think to start off a relationship with long distance is very difficult.
I am never one to feel devastated if a friendship gets ruined. My stance is that if that happens it happens. Don't let that get in the way of pursuing what you want but at the same time I don't think many people would feel enthusiastic about starting a relationship not knowing how many times you can see each other in a year. If his last relationship ended because of distance he would be less inclined to do another one.
I know a strong motivation towards a relationship is asking the question, "What's the next chapter in our lives?" "What now and how can we develop further, especially when you are available now?" Sometimes in life nothing has to happen unless there is some fateful pull, some cosmo influence that you can't escape each other in your lives.
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