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female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: Here's my problem.I started dating this chap about six months ago, but we haven't progressed past seeing each other once a week (despite living locally). My suspicion is that he views this as a casual relationship so I am going to tackle the issue with me. However, a friend is trying to disuade me from doing so (saying that I should give it time, men do things in there own time etc.) What do you think. My gut instinct is that something needs to be said. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2007): i confronted my guy after 2 months.... he struggled to decide what he wanted but didn't want a relationship with me or anyone! he has since treated another girl this way!! it hurts but you deserve better and its really annoying not knowing where you stand!!
good luck
A
female
reader, Sweet-thing  +, writes (7 June 2007):
 I think if you like this guy you should tell him. Men aren't mind readers and he may be afraid of rejection, so he's afraid to say it first. Just be coy about it, not too over-bearing (you don't want to scare him off)...try inviting him out for coffee, or drinks, or a movie after your usuall weekly "date". Do this a few times and see if he picks up on your cue. You may eventually just have to come out and tell him he makes your heart go pitter-patter and see what he does. Good luck. I hope it works out for you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2007): I think your friend is right. If you bring up "the talk" first, he will just put his guard up. What you need to do instead is behave your way out of this....Look at it this way, you aren't satisfied with seeing him only once a week and not having the relationship progress....you did not say but I am assuming you meet up once a week to have sex and I hope you do go out together and enjoy each other's company.
My guess is he is just not that into you, and does not see this relationship as serious in that he wants a future with you....nothing wrong with you, it is him, it is his issues what ever they may be.
Since this is unsatisfactory, you need to stop seeing him on the one time he calls you to go out, tell him you have a date whether you do or not, and wait awhile before returning any of his calls. He obviously knows what you want, you don't have to say it, he knows, therefore, the only way you can get him to step up to the plate, is to step up your game and let him subtly know thaty you are ready to leave the relationship unless he gives you some sort of commitment. Six months, and once a week date???? please!
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2007): i think something needs to be said, i was in this postion afew years ago and i never said anything and it went on for 3 years cause i thought he'd say something in his own time.he never did, now i regret not asking after the first six months because i felt more then he did all along.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2007): I think it is pretty important for both people in a relationship to know what kind of level of commitment is involved, don't you? Your friend obviously have a certain experience with men but i assure you that you would be doing nothing wrong by just finding out exactly how much this guy is in to you.
You can usually judge how much a guy is in to you by how much time and attention he shows you!
Follow your gut instinct :)
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