A
female
age
41-50,
*sually2confused
writes:3 months ago I started a new job. I never go into work situations thinking I'll meet anyone who might be boyfriend material, so I never expected this...I start work late, a guy in my team starts early, so he's always there when I walk into work. I never really thought a lot of it, but almost every day I walked into work he would catch my eye and smile at me and watch me as I would walk to my desk. Over time we started to message each other on IM internally, nothing very wow, maybe a comment about work, or I would ask him a question, he might ask about my weekend, vice versa. In the last couple of weeks, this got a lot more flirtatious and fun and I kinda realised I quite liked this guy.Then the bomb. Last wednesday it's annouced that friday is his last day. I was floored. There was I getting to know him and he's about to leave. I was a bit gutted. The last day we talk a lot and I ask him for his phone number - he gives it to me and tells me to call him back so he has mine. I do.So the whole team goes to his leaving drinks and we don't really talk, I don't really know what to say. Then he gets up to leave, and I need to go to, to an appt, so I say, I'll walk out with you. We do. We chat as we leave and he says where he's going, it's the same direction as me, I ask if he wants me to wait, he says yes. I wait, we get the train.I get to my stop and I think, OK last chance to let him know I like him, so I squeeze his leg and say, stay in touch. He says, of course, I'm gonna be back online playing this game with you as soon as I get home. I'm like cool :) see you later.About an hour later, I get a txt from him saying he was late and blah blah, I say, oh well never mind, at least I got to have a feel of your leg - haha sort of thing. We carry on playing the game online.On the Sunday after this I'm thinking, shit, I want to tell him I like him, ask him out, so I send a message to him, saying something about the game play - and then, tell me your secret, how about dinner? He replies almost immediately and says, no secret, I just made the play - but he ignores the dinner question.I took that to be a no, so I'm a bit sad about it, but it's life you know. But he's carrying on playing the game, albeit silently - it's a game he could play with anyone, so I'm kinda wondering if he's still thinking over the dinner thing - whether he did actually like me at all - or if the work flirtation was just a bit of fun.I like the guy, but I don't really need a game friend, I want to get to know him better, spend some time. To make it worse, I'm really missing him at work, I didn't realise how much I liked someone making that eye contact with me every morning. :(
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male
reader, Griffo +, writes (3 November 2010):
 No I didn't say that the game playing is only in Australia, what i said is it's alot heavier there than any other place I've been in the world. I dont know why but it's really pathetic.
I wish you the best.
A
female
reader, usually2confused +, writes (28 October 2010):
usually2confused is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your replies, good to see the perspective from another side. :)
I do know he's just come out of a divorce, so I suppose that could be part of it, or maybe just wishful thinking! I suppose I would have just preferred a straight thanks, but no thanks, rather than no response at all. I'm thinking I might let it ride for a couple of weeks and see how things go. Maybe put it out there again.... maybe not.
Griffo, you're right I think about the game playing but not sure it's just Australia, just people these days! The funny thing is that we're all trying to be cool and not get hurt but really it backfires and causes more heartache. I just can't get my head around the games, I'm doomed!
Anyway thank you both.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (27 October 2010):
 I think you put the ball in his court very nicely (with the dinner question) Now it's up to him. Give him a few days (if you want) and see if he get up the courage to ask you out or not, you could also tell him that the dinner invitation is still on the table, that way he can't ignore it 100%..
Unless he is very shy, it could be that he has a GF?
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A
male
reader, Griffo +, writes (27 October 2010):
Reply back and say: "I made the play too. But you still haven't won; have you?" It brings you back on the play, and he will feel outsmarted. After this ignore him and make him feel he's lost and then maybe he will realise what a jerk he has really been. What ever you do dont reply.
I don't know what all this game playing is in Australia but it's alot heavier there than any other country I've ever visited. The sad thing is it doesn't achieve anything at all. Infact it simply delays things. That's all it does ... Really!
I know you feel disapointed but really he's not worth a moment of your time. I know it was completley unexpected to meet someone like him and those feelings you had felt very good. A person like that says alot about who he is. Did you ever ask anyone else about him? Do you know anything about him through other people and their opinions of him?
You seem like a lovley lady by the way you explain things here. As far is I see it you can do better than him. Wether it was the looks that attracted you or his words. The good thing is you've uncovered his flaw. and that's probably saved you a huge nightmare. Imagine buying a house with a person like that or even buying a car. You'd feel like you've never done good enough. Where intact you've been the best thing someone like that could ever hold into. It's his loss not yours.
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