A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I am married for 4yrs now, my husband works 800km away from home and occasionally comes home for a day or two, we have been friends with our neighbours for 2yrs. My neighbour and myself have grown close because he keeps an eye on me (safety sake) while my husband is away at work. His wife has been crippled for many years and I have always helped them whenever they needed me with her. He and I have started an affair and I'm wondering by his actions if it is just a fill in relationship or if he actually feels something more than just friendship for me, I'm extremely attracted to him. Although he said he has had many offers from other women over the years to have an relationship but was never interested in them, but with me he is, he's always popping in for coffee, or takes me to where I want to be. I have sunday lunches with them, his wife and I are great friends. please help me with this, he is also so loving toward me when we are together.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI want to thank those who answered my question honestly, I apreciate it.
A
female
reader, Abella  +, writes (2 June 2011):
 love has nothing to do with what this man is doing. It is just opportunic cheating on his wife.
He may well have cheaated before, despite his boastful assertions, saying he could have cheated, but has not. If you stop allowing the affair to continue then you may be able to salvage something of your reputation
He is hardly going to leave his crippled wif
A married woman for an affair suits this man perfectly.
He cannot offer you marriage as
(a) he has a crippled wife
(b) it is lust not love
(c) you are married
(d) he would not like the censure he would get if he ever left his wife.
(e) he can hurt another by his infidelity
(f) once a person has cheated once with one person they need to get counselling to ensure it never happens again. Otherwise it will keep on hapoening.
And what about AIDS? How would you feel if you knew he had cheated many times before? What if he has previously been with a woman with AIDS in the past, in a casual relationship? Nothing but a Doctor's blood test would discover that fact. If you have sex with a man with AIDS then it is likely you could become sick too.
Is his wife crippled due to a physical injury? Or does she already have something else wrong with her that has made her sick?
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (2 June 2011):
you are not being a good friend to this man's wife. You are abusing the trust of your absent husband. And you are abusing the trust of this poor woman.
He is wrong to take advantage of the situation, where your husband is away working hard.
Stop the affair now. It will end in tears. Your husband may end up being told by another neighbor. You may lose your own husband as well. You will lose the trust of the wife, if you have not already lost her trust. She would sense a change, but what can she do? Except helplessly look on, heartbroken that her trust has been abused.
This man, whose wife has a medical condition, is bragging about how he could have done this before, but didn't. huh?
He is a deceitful double dealer.
Do not be alone with him again. He is doing no favors to your reputation.
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A
female
reader, ClearSorted  +, writes (2 June 2011):
How if your husband has an affair where he stays.Very simple answer to this, you are cheating on your husband. Its now for you to think about and decide what to do, because ultimately it is you who have to face consequences.
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