A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I have a major issue. I'm a 16 year old guy and my problem revolves around my sexuality. For years I've tried to deny that I am gay/bi, I've tried to act straight, be straight and still do today. But, the difference now is that I've actually accepted that I like boys. All my life I've always given off a gay vibe and been called gay/queer/faggot and I've always denied it. I don't get called them as much now but I still deny it. But inside I know my true feelings and I can't run away from them. I'm going through a lot in my life, which has caused me to be very walled up and anti-social. Even though I may have a lot of friends; I've never had 1 friend that I can really trust with every thing. And I don't get a long with my parents or little sister. So I'm going through this a lone, by myself. It would really help if I had someone to talk to, to be able to be myself with no strings attach. The people I call friends will probly just stab me in the back. Which brings me to the next problem. I Believe having a boyfriend would solve that for me. He'd be someone who accepts me for who I am and all my insecurities. Some that can talk about nothing to, someone who would wrap his hands around me and hold me close when I'm feeling down. And I just can't put a side the desire for a boyfriend. I've never been in a relationship before, but my heart mind and body are screaming for affection. I'm a teen to it's expected for me to be aroused, but I'm aroused ALL the time! I have fantasies all the time, the desire is too strong. I just want someone to care about me, and I'll love them with all my heart. I just want someone in my life. I don't know what to do. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify  +, writes (6 November 2010):
 essentially you dont trust anyone and that comes from hiding something important from others 24/7.
would it be that bad if your friends found out you were gay? i came out at school although a little older than you at 17, and although there was a lot of stress fora couple of months in the end nobody gave a shit as the novelty of taking the piss wore off and i became confident in myself. its far more socially acceptable to be gay these days and if you can laugh off insults and throw them back without looking like you care to much either way people will respect you. if people sense waekness they will go for it, and weather you are gay or strait bullies love a victim.
its you're choice- maybe tell one friend and then another and leave it at that until they get their head round it and then go from there, one day at a time eh?
A
male
reader, rivi +, writes (6 November 2010):
Well where are you exactly ?
Doesn't your school have a lesbigay alliance / group ?
I bet if you google gay plus the name of your town you would find contact groups and individuals you could at least talk to.
I think the social isolation is your most pressing problem but also one you could deal with by following above suggestions.
As to finding a boyfriend as such well that may just happen if you start moving in gay / bi circles. Plus there's internet dating sites. Be careful though : you are young and there are those who might take advantage. Do the social thing pronto but don't be in a rush over the bf thing or you risk getting hurt.
And if it does get to the stage of pants-off activities DON'T forget the condoms.
Report back on yr findings.....
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