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female
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anonymous
writes: My boyfriend and I have been together since we were 16, now soon to be 19. He's my best and only true friend. We've been through so much and are the same age(he's slightly younger). He's also been my only real relationship. He's helped me more then any friend and hurt me worse than any foe ever could. So why do I dream of other men? I want so badly ,a mature older, guy that I never had. Is it just wanting what I never got? I feel so terrible. I mean to be loyal and for so long I thought of no other, now every other thought seems to wonder into the arms of another. Though I have not physically cheated, I know in my dreams and thoughts I have but not with any real person. He seems so content with us, like there will never be another relationship, even if we split. I do love him, I'm just not sure if it's enough, or if I should even feel this way. I've been off and on with him before. It's like that song"I hate everything about you, why do I love you?!" My father tutors him(my bf) and he often stays with us and is my brothers best friend as well as mine. So you see what I'm talking about. It's like it was supposed to be this way! -but I have so many worries and fears of staying with him -and so many regrets of leaving him. We tried the stupid"let's date other people thing" but that was only hurtful and doesn't work unless you have other people to date. I'm scared I may always be alone, for he seems to be the only one who would put up with my spoiled ways, and look how I repay him? by wondering if we should even be together.
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female
reader, pica +, writes (3 November 2006):
He's certainly part of the family - you are still young and perhaps it's just all a bit suffocating. You say he's your only true friend? Change that. Don't limit yourself to being with him. Get into some hobbies, catch up with old female friends, make new ones. Life revolving around a long-term boyfriend can be very dull - no wonder you're fantasising about being "rescued". Get out and enjoy yourself without him. Good luck.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2006): Yes, it is just wanting what you never got. There should be a guy closer to you in age that can give you what you need. Don't feel that you have to get it from an older guy. I know that many younger women fantasize about older men; that's one thing. To act on it is another.
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