A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm currently in a healthy relationship with a guy that does not live nearby. He has visited me numerous times and we spent every minute we can talking (whether it be on the phone or online). I'm in love, and he is too.He's very into sex. He completely respects my choices and does not pressure me into doing anything I'm not comfortable with. Sometimes I feel really awful because I feel like I'm not giving him what he deserves (Me? Bad at sex? I think so! I know I can definitely step up in this department, but it would take some time because we can't be physical on a regular basis until school schedules and location allow us to be). We don't keep any secrets from each other, so I've told him that I'm feeling bad about not ... err... performing to his best interests and that I don't think I'd mind if he picks up girls just for sex. He's feeling like this permission means that I may do the same, which I wouldn't because I have better morals than that (not to mention I'm enamored with this guy). He tells me that he'd be extremely upset if I did what I'm allowing him to do. We're both confused on why I'd be okay with him sleeping around. What's going on eh?Am I just too curious about how I'd react? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2008): Why dont ya just be loyal n shag the guy next time ya meet up? Not bein rude but sounds pretty simple to me lol
A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (12 May 2008):
 Hi,
It almost is like he has convinced you that you are bad at sex. Why do you think you are so bad? Is it that you don't enjoy it and therefore put up with it to please him?
Or is it technique? i.e. you don't do much in bed.
If it is the latter then you can learn to enjoy sex by picking up information on useful positions etc.
Telling him he can have sex with someone else is asking for trouble.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2008): You can wait to have sex with him and hea can wait for you if your that much in love no sweat just say to him you were in the heat of the moment and sead something stupid and dont dwell on it so much.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2008): Usually people say stuff like this cause they secretly want to see what the other person would do if given the chance. That or you want the option to have sex with other guys, but I'll assume its the former.
Maybe you are looking to feel better about yourself? If he doesn't have sex with other woman (even though you told him he could!) then you'll feel better about your relationship with him. But if he DID go ahead & sleep with other girls you'd want him to be comfortable telling you about it (after all you have him permission right?). Then you wouldn't feel as enamored with this guy & you wouldn't have to worry about getting hurt.
BTW, good chance he STILL wouldn't tell you about sleeping with other woman. You've just increased the chances of him doing it & DECREASED the odds that he'd feel guilty about it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2008): OKayy!! iam kind of in your position.. i have this bf who so into sex he be having too easy too.. girls just give it up to him matter fact he had sex with 3 of my girls before we met.. sad i know... but he was never with them in first place.. so when we started going out.. he knows iam very hard to get and i don't give it up to anyone matter fact iam waiting till marriage even thou iam not virgin but i don't want to give it up to anyone iam not married to .. anyways dats not the point.. iam very unfair iam his girl for 4 months now and i never gave him any and being him he always gets and its hard for him not to,.. honestly if i found out he cheated on me which of course very possible i wouldn't blame... i wouldnt let him know that i know its bad enuff but if i found out from some1 it wouldn't really get to me because theres so many girls out there that just give it up.. and yea he will get it but who he with ?? who he loves?? me so theres nothing to be worried about.. don't feel bad guys are guys trust me he probably thought abt if he didn't already do it .. so he should respect your choice and you'll know he gets it so yeaa?? just dnt bring it up and don't tell him its okay cuz dats will be kind of stupid he ll do it anyway n he mite tell you abt and mite hide its w/e till you guys decide you readii to have sex.
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