A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'd just like to know where about's I am in terms of getting over my ex girlfriend.I was with her for 5 months, and we broke up 6 months ago. She's been with somebody new for about 4 months now. I have no interest in staying in contact with her now, because I know that staying in touch does nothing for me. I am long past the stage of crying over her, though I still think of her often. I am trying to look ahead and look to the future, but I am still struggling to see a future where I find a partner more suited for me. I know that partner exists and is out there somewhere, I'm just struggling to believe I will find her.When will I get over this? I've loved and lost before, but I feel like I should be over my ex by now, but a part of me refuses to stop thinking about her! What can I do to get over this already?
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWhat you say makes so much sense. I've heard advice similar to yours, but nobody has been able to explain it as clearly as you have done. You're very wise!
I wish I didn't get so attached, because I always end up feeling this way. I don't believe I become needy or dependent on my partner. If anything I feel like my previous partners were more like that than I. They would want to be with me at nearly all hours of the day. That's the impression I used to get anyway. I would have to force myself away sometimes insisting that I needed some alone time, as I like my own space now and again. But then whenever it comes to a break up, suddenly I'm the one wanting to be with them. I know breaking up is very different, but it's so much worse. I just wish I found it easier!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your support NotDoneYet. You're right, she was special to me. I adored her. I think the main thing that troubles me is that it always seems to take me great lengths of time to get over those I've loved and lost. After me and my first love split up after two years, it took me years to get over her. The second girl I fell for I pined for until I met somebody new (the third girl). I'm worried that I won't feel completely over her until I meet somebody new!
Is this normal? I don't like the idea that I have to wait to find somebody to fill the void before I'm happy again, surely that isn't healthy? Don't get me wrong, I'm okay, I just wish I didn't think of her as often as I do, because all it does is make me feel sombre, and I know she isn't feeling this way because she has someone!
If you have any more to add, please feel free, I appreciate your help!
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