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I still want him in my life, but he has hurt me so much.

Tagged as: Breaking up, Friends<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (5 November 2008) 6 Answers - (Newest, 7 November 2008)
A female Ireland age 51-59, anonymous writes:

My boyfriend of almost 3 years who I had complete trust in broke up with me 4 weeks ago after meeting a another girl in a night club a few days before, she is from Lithuania. I thought we had a good relationship and a fantastic friendship and this has broken my heart. He said he wasn't happy and had been going out with his friends a bit more often over the past few months but we still did lots and had great times together. He wants me still in his life as a friend and has been texting me constantly about this. I don't know what to do, I can't hate him and still want him in my life but he has hurt me so much. What will I do ?

View related questions: broke up, text

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks and I know I should cut contact but it is so hard, I have made a lot of very good friend through him and don't want to loose them too, they have been great to me the past month as they are not happy with him over what he has done, he's still txting and I know I should ignore them but when I see his name my heart jumps, the other day he told me that he missed me but this is the way that it has worked out, he is still seeing this other girl.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2008):

Do you want to be this man's friend? He wasn't much of a friend to you when he cheated and left you for another woman he just met. As much as it hurts you're better off without him. Staying friends will only delay the inevitable heartbreak you will have to go through.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2008):

Its very natural to feel that you want this guy.

In love you cannot share.Maybe its our primitive caveman syndrome.You need to have a little self-respect for yourself here.He cheated on you with another girl.No excuses however beautiful she might be.He doesn't value you.Its the plain truth.

He wants you in his life as a friend because he feels guilty.you have still got feelings for him.So a friendship is nigh impossible in such cases.you need to have people around you who will make you happy.You should never have people around you ,who are to going to make you think less about yourself.

This ex of yours is definitely a mood-bomber.Please stay away from him.Do not rush into another relationship.Take time to love yourself.Have a new haircut,a new wardrobe,a vacation.Its a very short life to feel sad about anything.I mean anything at all.If you find out that the world is going to end tomorrow ,will you still be worried about this guy?Live everyday as if its your last.That's the best way to enjoy life.God bless.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2008):

Don't be his friend. Screw him. You get out there & meet some wonderful guy & please don't waste your time with this jerk.

I'm sorry you were with him so long & that he did this to you, but he's not the guy for you. You deserve a whole heck of a lot better.

I'm sorry for how your relationship turned out. :-(

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2008):

I agree with Just a Dreamer about this.

It sounds like he is not ready to commit. Is he willing to talk about the things he was unhappy about before? And is he texting you because he feels guilty, or because he realises what he is missing?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2008):

I wouldn't be too forgiving about this. You said he broke up with you for a girl he just met at a club. He just met her and he broke it off with you for this girl he barely knows! That's just disloyal. I also would say that he shouldn't have been so close to another girl while dating you to begin with. If I were you I wouldn't totally shut him out. I'd talk to him but I wouldn't let him be to close to me aka don't let him hug you and stuff. Show him that since he ended your relationship he needs to face the consequences, no more special perks.

-I'm sorry that happened to you.

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