A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:Well, me and my ex split up just over 5 months ago. He split up with me because he felt like we were falling too deep, and things were becoming too serious. I disagreed at the time (which i'm sure didn't help.). I'm 20 and he is 22, and this is without a doubt the worst pain i've ever felt. I have never been in love with anyone before and it almost stings to think of the rest of my life without him in it. Niave you might think but i've always been a sceptic of this kind of thing. Since we've split up we've tried to be friends, which is hard...we've obviously gone 'there' (to put it politely) again...but things never progressed. All the time he still says how he misses me, but enjoys being single...As far as i'm aware he is now a total workaholic. Whenever i see him, he always looks so sad. Always friendly, and wanting to hug me for ages, those hugs that make you feel like your gunna cry. I've tried to date, something he hasn't. He has told me, my friends and his friends that he doesn't want any one but me. After 5 months my head is still as messed up as the night we finished. I know if ever i need him, he is there and he isn't just after me for sex because we haven't slept together for months. I'll actually get to the point of all of this soon enough...basically i've been dating another guy recently, he is so lovely, kind and a nice guy (from what i've seen so far.). But i'm still so heartbroken i don't want to be with anyone else. I want to prove to myself that i can live without, which i know i can, but i want to be with him. Would it be a bad idea to tell my ex that there is a potential new boyfriend on the horizon; even though my intentions aren't how they are set out to be... This could make him realise that i'm not intending to sit around and wait for him. OrShould i come clean to the new guy, because i don't want to hurt someone the same way i was. And in the meantime arrange to meet my ex and just talk for a while.I'm so confused, if anyone can help me...please message me. I know my ex is scared of commitment, but i don't want to get my hopes up if he just doesn't care. thankyou and sorry for the lengthy question.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2008): well, i happen to be in the same situation you are. I'm still totally in love with my ex with whom i broke up about 7 months.. we had a very messy break up and he went to live somewhere else. after that, we talked and became "friends".. yeah right, that only lasted a couple months to realize we were both not over each other.. i love him, always have an always will... even though he broke my heart. to make long story short, i've been very patient with him and i just try to be there for him.. he has come back to his senses and now he's is more in love than before. he wants to be with me no matter what.. i believe that if you still want him back, you can have him back... not even distance can break that!
A
female
reader, I'mheretohelpyou  +, writes (2 June 2008):
 He's obvisously scared of commitment and you should moved on. :!
PEACE!!!!
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A
female
reader, Queeny  +, writes (1 June 2008):
 5 months is too long for him not to have made up his mind lol.. it's probably better if you move on and don't get entangled with his 'world'. you don't know why he is scared of a committment yet he still misses you and says to his friends that he'd wish to be with you. you need to move on and make it clear to him.. yes i think your idea of coming clean with the 2guys would help. do not hurt this new guy who's in your life, for no reason. it will not be fair for him coz right now he is happy and if you live a lie and not be honest with him, he will really get hurt and even despise you. those are not good memories you want people to have about you especially those that cared for you whole heartedly. they will both deal with the truth about wat you'll tell them and who knows either your exbf will let you go or come back for good. wat i see that is dangerous is that you are on a rebound with this new guy. it may help if you tell him the truth so that he also assists you get over this other guy. tell him that ur ex-bf does not allow u to move on.
You will need to make a decision to either let go or not but gal... 5months is pretty long time to not have atleast accepted its over.ths is prolonging ur moving on and finding real happiness. if a relationship hurts tht bad,its probably not the right one.becoz love makes you grow and does not detororiate the happy self.
friendship will come naturally when the two of you get over each other. pls note that you are not enemies. you can't just be normal friends with the person you broke up with until you get over him completely and even won't mind if you saw him with another gal and wished them well.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2008): If you still love your ex that much then i wouldnt rush into another relationship as you wont have your heart in it. Talk to you ex, ask him whether hes ready to start things up again. If not, let it be, then when youre ready to date again go for it. x
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