A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have a question I feel very ashamed about. I'm currently in a relationship that has lasted over a couple years. We've been through a lot together, including almost breaking up several times, and breaking up once that lasted a week - overall though, we've worked through things and have done our best to make our relationship work.Lately though, I've felt quite distant - I've wanted to spend time doing things with him, but he seems more interested in "doing his own thing" even when we have time to spend together in our busy schedules. I don't know if I'm blowing it out of proportion or not, but it has been feeling this way to me. I've had several guys ask me out not knowing that I'm in a relationship, and I've been tempted to end our relationship. I'm worried though, because it's been so long and we've worked through harder things than this before. I'm just missing the excitement and newness of a relationship - is this because I'm immature and in the mindest of "The grass is greener on the otherside?". I still love my current boyfriend. What should I do?Thanks in advance. 3
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male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (29 October 2007):
 Hi,
you just have to accept the fact that we all change as we grow older. Our priorities and interests change and regretably our loves as well.
Some people can stay together for ever, however people often grow apart and it looks like you and your boyfriend are slowly drifting apart. This is not to say I think your relationship is kaput! You both have made the effort in the past to get round your differences, and heads up to the both of you for making a go at mending the relationship.
But if you are drifting apart there's not too much you can do. It is possible to still love someone yet not want to spend the rest of your life with them.
I would have a frank conversation with your boyfriend, discuss what you both want out of life and see whether it is worth it in the long run for both of you to put in the extra effort as this is what is required to get over the dreaded honeymoon period.
All the best and good luck!
A
female
reader, cd206  +, writes (28 October 2007):
 It sounds a bit to me like you're trying to arrange a back up in case things go wrong, because you're feeling insecure about your relationship with your current guy. It's always nice when someone finds us attractive and we can't help but be flattered by this, whether we're in a relationship or not. Whether or not you should break up with your current boyfriend is a decision only you can make with all the facts open but don't stay with him for the sake of staying with him. At the same time don't dump him unless you're 100% sure it's what you want. Good luck.
CD
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A
male
reader, dapone 1 +, writes (28 October 2007):
 hi.
To be honest if your relationship is in such a bad state,and he has started going in a different direction to you. IE doing his own thing, then there are two ways to sort this problem out.
One would be to get together and talk the problem out if possible, or two make the final break and do what ever suits yourself.
because your relationship has broken down in the way it has, it seems that you both are now wanting to go in different directions, this of course will never work and make both your life a long and cold misery
Even thou you have been together for two years ,maybe it is time, for you both to go your own ways, and find the happiness you are unable to get from this relationship.
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