A
male
age
,
*onfusedjim
writes:I've been divorced two years now from Rose (we were married for 20 years, 2 wonderful and beautiful daughters . I am still deeply in love with Rose. She was the one who wanted the divorce, even though for 5 years I pleaded for us to get counseling, but she would not. Never really giving me a why. Through this time I supported her in her new carrier and college education. She now makes 4 times more money than I do and lives comfortably while I struggle. After our separation and divorce she lost considerable weight and looks stunning. She has now told me she is in a relationship and happy.Rose has not really spoken with me until this past Christmas. At that time I was seeking closure and we finally got to meet and talk about the why and the hurt that I have in my heart. At this time she told me why was we did not have the same goals, even though it hurt me even more, I accepted her feelings and accepted it. She then told me she does not love me anymore.Then I asked her if she could understand my feelings and my pain, she said she could not and was very cold, but knowing the Rose that I have been with for over 23 years, I knew this was not true, I felt with her being in a new relationship, she felt she could not open her heart to me that I truly need at this time in my life, at this moment in our conversation she began to act like the woman I fell in love with over 23 years ago and we held hands for comfort and I gave her a kiss on her cheek and she said thank you with a smile on her face that I have not seen in over 6 years. At this time my emotions were overwhelming. We then decided to go. At this time I told her that I will always love her and at this time of my life and my hurt in this relationship I just needed a friend. She then said I needed to move on with my life.My deep fear is she, like me still does not have closure in this relationship and she needs help just like me. then on new Years Eve she calls me and tells me I am creeping her out, by my actions.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2009): excuse my bluntness...forget her and move on, you don't deserve the misery. women can be cruel without even knowing it..i suggest focusing on your two beautiful daughters and be a great dad!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2009): Her treatment of you was particularly cruel. Sometimes all people need after separation is some sort of good explanation, but part of the struggle is coping when the other party refuses to give that explanation.
Sometimes witholding the reasons is done on purpose, to hurt the other party with silence. Other times the person doesn't even know what the reasons are, or is unable to explain. Offering an explanation means facing up to one's actions, and sometimes the other person refuses to do that.
From what you've said, I think you've done all you can, and persuing this any further will only add to your heartbreak. It won't be easy but you must let her go. You deserve better!
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A
male
reader, roadman  +, writes (2 January 2009):
 Find your lover tell her how you feel like you have done here take time and try and rebuild the bond that has been broken..
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