A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Why do I feel so guilty??I asked this question earlier but it got no response so Im gonna try make it shorter now.Im a single 21 year old girl. On Sunday night I went out with friends drinking for May day. I had the best night, I swear its the best night out I think Ive ever had. When the nightclub closed me and a friend went to this other friends house. Drank there, danced to music, talked and the other girl I was there with fell asleep quite early and that left me and the guy. (I used to have a crush on him a few year back but that didn't go anywhere, however I still think he's hot but wasn't attracted in that way even though we both flirt with each other a lot) Well we realized we have a lot more in common than we ever thought and it was fun we laughed so much and talked and in the end because the other girl fell asleep we decided we'd both just stay.She was already on the bed so we finally managed to move her to the very edge and then he gave me clothes which I changed into and he made me go in the middle and when he came in next to me he automatically wrapped his arm around me. We talked for a little while laying like that, fell asleep woke up a while later cuz of the other girl and we all talked while we were like that. We even played around a little, like I bit his thumb (I have a thing for biting, don't ask...not hard just soft) and I dunno...we spooned all night like my bum was actually attached to his crotch all night (which I can confirm he is on the large side, sorry needed to tell someone) and he even felt my ass at one point (my ass is like my best body feature as everyone seems to love it and touch it)Anyways long story not cut short...I feel guilty, why do I feel so guilty?My ex broke up with me a month ago. I still love him, I'd take him back if he asked me. He broke up with me though because he developed depression over things in his life and wanted to be alone and work on himself (I was gutted but had to accept it because I want him to be happy again, he deserves it and if being alone and going to therapy helps then good).Anyway yeah I love him but I do like this other guy again thanks to Sunday and then the sleeping thing I loved it. My ex never held me like that when we slept because he likes his own space which I didn't mind but thats the first time I've experienced that and I liked it, I felt safe and it felt good and I don't know it was nice.And this guy is super hot!!!We hang out a lot and most people ask when they catch me alone if he;s my bf and I'm like no and they always seem to find the need to tell me firstly hes gorgeous and secondly we look good together so I should definitely try it with him. But yes everyone goes on about how good looking he is and I joke around telling him he's not or telling people not to mention it because hes too big headed, lol. He is big headed but not in an assholeish way or anything. He just knows hes good looking, intelligent, etc etc etc put doesn't make it known or throw it in your face or nothing like that. And Ive made this longer than last time...sorry about that but please give opinions.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2011): Most likely you are not only not over your ex, you are deep down waiting for him to come back. Any day. The new guy is nice to fill the void with for now--and the surface good qualities and how other people keep telling you he's great make you think you should not pass him up. So you probably feel guilty because you are putting more and more emotional barriers between you and your ex, while medicating yourself with this new guy.
As for the sleeping thing--guys can change--from not liking it to liking it.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2011): The answer is in the title OP.
It's too soon. You feel guilty because you're not over your ex yet which means this guy doesn't actually stand a chance at the moment. You feel guilty OP because you know deep down inside if your ex asked you tomorrow to get back together and he'd work on his issues you'd say yes. So the idea that you could start dating this guy only for your ex to suddenly want to reconcile makes you feel bad. Perhaps you feel guilty for spooning because you feel you may have gone too far that maybe you've ruined your chances with your ex or betrayed him.
There are lots of possibilities but it sounds to me like the most obvious one is that you still love your ex and you feel you betrayed that love for one moment of lust.
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