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female
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*ickyrobz
writes: ok so heres the start of my problem. iv bin with my boyfriend for over 3years now and i thought i really loved. about 4 weeks ago now we had a huge fall out which left my boyfrined wantin to leave me. that same day before the arguement i recieved a text from my boyfriend which said 'mrnin sexy, u up?cant wait to c u later, still comin up ye?xxx' and i thought it was strange because i only live around the corner and i had already text him that morning.any how we didnt break up!the other week my bf phoned me up whilst i was at college asking me who the lad was id been sleeping with because he said he had heard it from a friend of his!i wouldnt have minded as much if it was true but id not slept with anyoone else. so later that night wen i got home, my boyfriend broke up with me and was heart broken. but i ended up meetin a male friend of mine.my friend n i got talkin about everything and at the end of the night he walked me home and we had a little kiss.after the kiss i felt really bad cos it was only hours ago that my bf had broke up with me.a few days later my bf asked me if i wantd to meet up jst as friends, so i did.but very soon, i found us havin sex and got back together.but all the time he was kissin me i kept on pullin back because i dint think i wanted to.i didnt even want to take him back cos of hw much he hurt me.i have another male friend and he is so lovely to me.the whole time i was sad about the break up, he wud cheer me up.i have recently found myself going to see him some nights thru the week whilst my bf is at work and although we havent yet had sex,i feel as though im fallin for him.my boyfriend has never treated me that well thru out our relationship-he often hurts me andowes me loads of money. i think i love my bf a little bit still but i really like this other guy because of how he treats me and talks to me. please, what should i do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2007): i have a bf of almost 10 months and he is a great guy....but 10 months feels like way too long we get in stupid fights all the time a while ago we went on a break of about 2 weeks and it really helped things when we got back together.....the promblem....you see there is this other guy and i have never even had a real conversation with him but there is something about him that really makes me want too get too know him but i have a bf a very jealous bf at that. i dont want too miss out on a good oppurtunity of a really good guy...OMG...in the middle of this my bf called too tell me about a dream he had and it was about me teling him i was in love with someone else how weird is that that has to be some kind of sign.. SOMEONE PLEASE HELP!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2006): I know and understand everything youre cause I too am feeling the same. But one thing you should do before making a decision is make sure that most importantly youre happy with what your choice will be. Love yourself first and put yourself first than others. Hold youre head up high. And just because youve been with your bf for such a long time doesnt mean u have to stay with him forever, all he probably is, is the love of your dreams not the love of ur life.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2006): There's a contradiction right there - maybe even an oxymoron... "I THINK I love my bf a LITTLE BIT"... That's like saying "I don't really like beer, because it's gross, but I love to drink it".
[blank expression]
The problem as I see it from this perspective is your lack of will-power and diluted emotional and mental solidity.
1) bad guys want sex, control, and to look good - keep that in mind
2) with that said, when you want to break up with him, whatever sweet talking he does, begs you, etc, is all about those three things - it doesn't matter if he says he will treat you better - damn it, there are tons of guys in this world that can treat you right and better
3) you need to walk away - run if you have to
4) there is history between you and your bf - either it be bad or good. thus, you need to stop answering his calls. if you see him, stand up straighter, head high, and just walk pass him
5) if he spreads rumors, that can't be helped, just continue life as it is, better yourself, by taking up challenges, he is but a turd that stinks up the neighborhood - as a whole people can be very stupid and easily influenced - just be yourself
6) continue your friendship with your male friend and see where that takes you
AND FINALLY...
7) LEARN from all the things you've gone through with this (ex)bf of your's
[coughs]
You can't love a guy a little bit - it's doesn't make sense.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2006): Who makes you smile more? Pick that one. If you get back with your boyfriend of 3 years, tell him everything, because relationships with secrets never work. Pick a good time to tell him this because if he's in a bad mood or he is still bothered by the breakup, he probably won't want to hear that you kissed another guy. Why don't you take a break from the relationship so that you can find out how you really feel about this new guy? Just make sure you tell your bf that you're taking the break... so he doesn't accuse you of cheating again.
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