A
female
,
anonymous
writes: I feel im going mad with my ex. We split a few months back because he joined the army and is about to be posted abroad for 8 months. But we still keep in touch, text, chat and flirt because I still love him and he says he still has feelings for me. But about 4 weeks ago he went mad at me because I considered going on a date with another guy. So I didnt end up going but my ex didnt speak to me for 3 weeks. Then we made friends again. We were texting lastnite and he said he still likes me but theres no point being together as hes about to go for 8 months (he leaves in 2 days). So I text back saying I agree and that I couldnt commit to someone who was about to leave for 8 months anyway. And he went mad again and stopped texting me and wont reply to my texts. But what did he expect me to say? And the worst thing is is that when he joined the army he knew he would be posted abroad. I said I would stay with him no matter what and support him. But he broke it off saying that he couldnt do it. It took me a while but I soon accepted that it wouldnt work because we would never see each other. Now its almost as if hes angry with me because I now see that it wouldnt work out. I still love him and he knows it but I couldnt get back together with him and not see him for 8 months. Ive said we could see how we feel and maybe start again when he gets back but hes just ignoring me totally now. I dont know what to do.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2011): Let's be realistic. His chances of forging a new relationship while he's working away in the Army are very limited. Yours are statistically much greater, and he knows it. This is why I think he is being selfless in suggesting you take a break. He is offering you that chance but he wants you to stay together. He is hurt and angry when you seem keen to move on. He is also dealing with fear and apprehension about this next stage of his life...it is exactly at this time that a loyal girlfriend is worth her weight in gold.
8 months really is not such a long time, but if you can't wait that long for him you need to make that clear. From his perspective you are perhaps sending mixed signals. I think it sounds as if you need to do some thinking to be sure of what you really want.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2011): Send him a text or e-mail telling him how you feel. You love him and wish him the best and don't want to end things badly.
Maybe you could express that when he is done with his military experience you could maybe give things another go.
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A
female
reader, aligrl4life +, writes (7 August 2011):
To love someone is one of the hardest things in life but when you do love it gives you so much back.
Some people (like myself) find it hard to tell others how they truly feel and do and say things to see how the other person will react. Is he being honest with you about his feelings?
Does he want you to keep telling him how much you want to be with him?
I would question if he ever wanted the relationship end.
Remember with loss anger usually shows up.
i wish you the best.
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