A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:2 years ago, this guy told me that he was in love with me. And before I knew it, I was slowly falling for him. We had the most amazing, loving relationship and we made each other unbelievably happy. Our friends thought we were great together - everything was perfect.In late 2008, we decided to break up because he was moving to a different country. I chose to let him go because I wanted him to be happy than miserable in a long-distance relationship with me. 6 months later, I ended up in the same country for college, in spite of all my efforts not to.It's been a year and a half now and I've come to realize that I still love him. I love him more than I have in the past and would do anything to be with him again.However, he's seeing someone now. And I recently started dating someone too. The guy I'm seeing is a warm, wonderful person - a kinder, more responsible and stable person than my ex-boyfriend.Yet, I think of my ex-boyfriend.. every single day. A part of me is happy that he's found someone new. My best friend thinks I should email him and let him know how I feel. I very distinctly remember he told one of my friends that he misses me, not too long ago. Will it be wrong to tell him how I feel? This is the love of my life and I don't think I should let him get away. Please help. :(
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2010): I went through a kinda similar situation...only i did not date the guy because we were both involved at the time with other people. We always were attracted to each other but I did never tell him how I truly felt because of pride and I guess I did not want a guy who was pursuing me while still attached to someone else.We grew to become close friends though... Now after years we both are married (not to eachother) i still struggle with those feelings and thoughts of what if and the feelings seem so overwhelming at times..My 2 cents to you is that you should get those feelings sorted once and for all before you can truly commit yourself to anyone esle. If remained unresolved it will resurface at a random totally inappropriate time and you may experience alot of heartache.Hope it works out for you. Truly know how you feel x
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2010): To answer this type of question, you need to first ask yourself a few questions. You will need to be totally honest with yourself. Are you inclined to hold monetary value or material possessions as more important? Or are you more inclined to hold things such as true love, love of a lifetime as paramount? You may have already answered that in the way you asked your question, but make sure you are clear on this. Now if you stay with your new mister wonderful and get married, will you be living happily ever after? Or will you always be in love with the other one? This of course would not be fair to yourself or your new man. If you go with the old love and it works out, will you be able to live happily ever after, or will you always love or miss your new man?You are now at a crossroad in your life, where a decision either way will set your path. It would be nice if you could run both paths to their inevitable end, but that is just not possible. As for myself, I am a romantic. I would go with true love every time. I would rather be a poor man with nothing, and have the woman that I love in my arms, than to own the world, and have my heart torn apart wishing and knowing I can never be with the one I love.If your old love feels the same way for you, as you feel for him, well it's best you find out. Life is too short to spend it with the wrong person. If he does not feel the same, then your only choice is to patch up the hole in your heart and move on. It would be best not to make any permanent arrangement with the new guy, until you have gotten the old one out of your system.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2010): Go ahead and talk to him make things work out you will regret it then ur the one who is goanna be misarble. If is true love go and talk to him
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (22 May 2010):
 You've got to look forward, not backwards. You've already said that the guy you're seeing now is better than the one you're pining for. It's easy to romanticize a past relationship, especially when it ends so tragically and romantically as yours did. I'm guessing that he isn't having all of these pining for your feelings that you are.
Kinder, more responsible, and stable - those are absolute KEEPER qualities in a guy. Why throw your new awesome guy away for some romantic fantasy?
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A
female
reader, Blondiebrooke69 +, writes (22 May 2010):
Its very hard to answer this cuz i was currently in a relationship for a year and a half while my boyfriends ex constently told him she realized she loved him so much more than before and he was so torn. Litterally went into tears and brought him to think about her constently and it ruined our realationship! She was with someone too and then when we broke up he expected to have her love him and be there and she wont even talk to him now! So my advice is to think about who ur hurting when u open ur mouth and tell him. Do u want to be with him ...honestly be with him or do u just think ull be better for him than she is... If ur happy in ur relationship why ruin it? If ur not honestly ready to be with ur ex dont say anything and move on. You both deserve to be happy
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (22 May 2010):
 I don't think you should bind yourself to any love of your life until you are finished with college and can decide where you want to live for a long time. Are you sure you accidentally ended up in the same country as him, or did you do that on purpose? Just enjoy dating right now and not worry about the pressures of commitment and separation. It would be wrong to tell him how you feel because you let him go the first time and now he would have a hard time believing what you say. There could be a few more men who make you feel each one of them is your love of your life before you finally get married. Even if you bump into your ex several times in your life whatever you do, wherever you are, would not be incentive to go back to him. Your fate is to enjoy the person right here right now with you and to make it work at this moment.
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