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male
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*orze
writes: Hi, I have put myself in an interesting position and I'm not sure what to make of it. I am 31 years old and my ex is 30. We broke up about 2 months ago after a 2 and a half year relationship. Before breaking up, we hadn't has sex in a year...I know crazy, eh. She felt that she didn't have a sex drive because she was clinically depressed (she would go off and on medications) so, I stayed really patient with her. As, the lack of sex went on though, she started doubt that the depression was the reason and started wondering more if she just wasn't in to me. We didnt even kiss anymore, she'd just pull away. The longer we went without having sex, the more jealous I got when she was out flirting with guys (she is a natural flirt). Eventually this led to her breaking up with me. As she said during the breakup speech, "I love you, I haven't told you that enough but, I just don't feel girlfriendy." So, we were still living together, trying to be friends, as we really had gotten along great before and during our relationship...just not intimate...but, within a week of us breaking up, she started seeing and having sex with someone else. This tore me up so, I asked her to move. We still hung out on occasion but, didnt think I could live with her. Now she's done with this guy (rebound?) and semi seeing 2 others but, not having sex with them...and then this weekend we hooked up. She says things like we can't do this but, continues to kiss me and touch me and tells me we are done but, doesn't push my hands away. She tells me she still loves me but, it won't work. Basically, I am just totally confused. My problem is, I still love her and want her. I don't just want to be a sex buddy. What should I do?
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broke up, depressed, flirt, jealous, my ex, sex drive Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Torze +, writes (28 October 2006):
Torze is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI wanted to thank you for your answers. I took some time thinking about them and decided that I can't hang out with her or remain friends at least for now. Taking a long look at things I realized that she was using me and that her being around would interfere with me finding someone who would truly be good for me.
A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (18 October 2006):
 She is messing with you. You're going to stay in a whole lot of pain if you continue down this road. I suggest that you stay well away from her and get on with your own life.
If the really wants you she will come to you: don't accept anything less than what you want. And if she doesn't want you, then you're better off without her. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, xLEAHx  +, writes (18 October 2006):
 Hmm a tough situation,it sounds to me like she doesn't want to let go and wants the best of both worlds which isn't being very fair on you ..my advise is to sit down and have a good chat to your ex, tell her you still love her and want her and you cant carry on with the way things are because you need to move on with your life, as she is just using you..it will be hard to make a clean break but thats the only alternative if she doesn't want to make another go of things as carrying on with this situation will only tear you up inside..try getting out with friends and meeting new people.
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