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male
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anonymous
writes: Just over a month ago, my girlfriend of two years broke up with me before entering college (I am a sophomore, she was entering my college as a freshman). This breakup was sudden and devastating, as we were EXTREMELY close. She broke up with me over many factors including situational stress, stupid fights, and probably because neither of us had practice with committed relationships and didn't know how to solve problems that come from these long-term relationships. Nearly a week later, she gets involved with one of her coworkers (though I am CERTAIN he wasn't in the picture before she had broken up with me). A month later, and I still feel as devastated as I did before. She and her new boyfriend are extremely close, but I'm not willing to let go and move on like everyone says I should. I'm trying to avoid antidepressants because of side-effects, but maybe I should seek professional help. Is it really that unlikely that she'll come back, like everyone says? Or is there a way to stand on the side with the hope that she'll come back?
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male
reader, amit_t +, writes (13 September 2006):
get busy having fun (sports, meeting up new people, etc..), i know its escapist ... but you need a little escaping from thoughts about her right now...
i feel this(wat you r going thru)happens to us(people) because we arent ready for wats to come and have a different view about waking up the next morning and being able to connect with that special person... having said that.. your life now has amazing prospects... and you will definitely feel what you are feeling no matter what you tell yourself the idea is to minimize the impact that has on your mood/day/concentration... micro manage your life ... live for the minute ...
A
male
reader, Toohonesty +, writes (13 September 2006):
My sympathies to you, ive mentioned this before PDD.
Protest, im guessing you kicked up a fuss when she left
Despair, im also guessing you wouldnt eat, drink, talk to people
And the last D, detachment you haven't got to this stage yet but you've lost her and she's gone and she's detached from you, you were obviously closer to her than she was close to you.
What ireccoment is that you live that to the full, chances are she's on the rebound with this other guy. I reccoment you watch and wait, and you may get back with her but please reach stage three of break ups and thats detachment
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A
female
reader, snowbird  +, writes (13 September 2006):
 One thing is for sure, hanging around looking needy is not going to bring her back. Let her see you out and about with a new crowd of friends, happy and getting along without her.
Perhaps, when you are ready to date again (without using someone as a 'rebound', of course) it will give her a bit of a jolt to see you with another girl, and she may just realise what she is about to lose forever.
I'm not saying it will bring her back, but it is the most dignified way to go. You might just find, in time, that your feelings for her will fade anyway, as you meet new people - and girls!
Just give her some space, and maybe text her in a month or two, just to see how she is getting on, and depending what she has to say, take it from there.
Meanwhile you may as well keep busy, be happy, and keep circulating - but don't waste your time hoping - And don't let her see you moping!...
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