A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I still like this guy that i used to date, even though i have a boyfriend. Things haven't been going that well with me and my boyfriend lately. When the guy i used to date found out that i had another boyfriend, he called me and asked if i was in love with him. Once, when i was in a bar with him and my boyfriend, they were arguing over me. When i saw the guy i used to date a couple of weeks ago again when i was with my boyfriend, he asked my boyfriend how he was, and when my boyfriend told him that it was his birthday, he told my boyfriend to enjoy himself. I spoke to him on my own later on. He asked if my boyfriend was treating me well. I told him that we had had some ups and downs and he said " well, i heard you were kissing a lot the other day ". He also said " well, you look happy enough ". I saw him again yesterday. He was stood outside a pub smoking. As i was walking towards him, he waved and he turned his head away from me, and i could see he was smiling. We both went in the pub and had a chat. He asked where my boyfriend was, and we had a chat about what we had both been up to. I went to get some drinks from the bar, for me, him and one of his friends. He went to the bar with me to help me carry the drinks. Later on, my mum and brother came into the pub. He knows my mum, but he hadn't seen my brother before. When my mum and brother walked out of the pub, he was outside having a smoke again and i saw him shake hands with them. I was still inside the pub, looking out of the window. Do you think it meant anything, him shaking hands with them?. He had only seen my mum briefly once before. Just before we left the pub, another man that he knew came over. The man was asking me questions about myself, and he said he fancied me and asked me if i wanted to go to another pub with him for a drink. I heard the guy i was dating say " no " quietly, and then he said " let's go " to me. The other guy asked how long i had known the guy i used to date, and the guy i used to date told him how long it had been. The other guy said " well, i haven't seen you here before ", to me, and the guy i used to date said " i've been keeping her hidden from you ". He also said " i want to keep her away from you " and i joked by saying " we're running away ", to the other guy, and the guy i was dating said " yeah, we're running away ".When we were in another pub, someone asked if i we were dating each other, and he said " no, we're friends. She is courting ( seeing someone ) ". He asked me to go back to his place with him, so i did. We watched a film. As we were watching the film, he lay on the couch and i was sat up . He asked me to lie down next to him, but i didn't. He also put his hand up my top and he was stroking my back. I pushed his hand away and i said " i thought we were friends", and he said we were. I didn't really want to push his hand away, as i still like him, and i didn't want to give him mixed signals, but i couldn't cheat on my boyfriend, no matter how much i like the guy i used to date. It's so confusing. Obviously, i still like to hang out with him, as i still like him. I'm not sure whether he would want to go back out with me though, or if he would just want a fling. He also said once " i don't know what to say to you, because you are courting ", and one of his friends said he still talks about me to him. Do you think he likes me as a friend, or still something more?.
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female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (1 September 2012):
 When a guy is okay with stealing another man's girlfriend, he is not so honorable. He is asking you the right questions. Yes or no, doesn't matter. He saw it in your eyes and in your manner. He pushed your buttons while being very careful with words. There many things he could do in the name of friendship. All he needs is your moment of weakness, your resistance going down as you spend more time with him and you like him more and more.
You don't love your boyfriend. Yes you kiss a lot but if your boyfriend is the right guy for you, no one is able to wreck your relationship. He wants a fling. He does not care if you hurt your boyfriend, he does not care if he would hurt you in the future. You are in a serious relationship until you end it, and you are in no place of entertaining yourself with the idea of liking someone else. I advise you to stay away from him and think clearly whether you are really satisfied with your own boyfriend.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2012): Hello, it seems that when you and the guy you used to date hang out, old feelings arise. You said you didn't want to push his hand away, that right there is a sign that had you been single, you would've let him. Also, pretty bold move of him to put his hand up your top. From what I am getting out of this is that maybe he does want to pursue something with you, but becauase you are true to your bf, that kind of sets him back. You saw for yourself how well he gets along with your family, shaking their hands, ect.
If at any time you feel that you cannot be around him without feeling tempted into cheating, then that is the time to stop seeing him. How would you feel is your bf's ex popped up and the two of them started seeing each other, lying nxt to each other while watching a movie? You wouldn't like it. Despite what problems you and your bf have had, he is still your bf. And if you find yourself drifting away, and into the arms of your ex, then break up with your bf before anything happens.
So to answer your question, I think he wants more than friendship with you. Ultimately, it's your decision. Always follow your heart and listen to your gut instinct.
Best of luck! :)
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A
female
reader, dangerouslyinlove0228  +, writes (31 August 2012):
 Gurl, you got to handle that like a REAL woman. If your EX tells someone else your "friends" than its only obvious that he thinks of you JUST as a "friend". If he really had feelings for you, he would've told you sooner than you think he would. But from my understanding, he didn't say much about how he feels about you. & honey, don't fall too easy based on what his friend tells you (talks about you to him a lot) that is hearsay. It'd be appealing if you heard it straight from your EX. Don't let your EX keep you from loving someone else. You already have a BF that loves you. Its normal to have ups & downs within a relationship. Always keep in mind --- Another man's EX, is another man's Treasure ! On the other hand, don't let your BF see much of you keeping in contact with your EX. Put yourself in his position & without a doubt, you wouldn't like it one bit if he was to do the same to you. Don't play with people's emotions, gurl. There's a reason why you now call him your EX ... He had his chance & now its his loss ...
--LET GO, MOVE FORWARD, LOVE & BE HAPPY ! Okaaay? :)
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