A
male
age
30-35,
*aviet
writes:Sorry about the length of my words, there's a lot of information to take in but your help would be really appreciated because I'm so confused. We're teenage, 17 currently and both go to the same college, with the same free periods.So much has happened between us. We were together for 15 months before she brought it up that it wasn't working which I knew and we decided to be friends. Our relationship started to strain and deteriorate in the last weeks, the last months. It was hard to please her and she wouldn't compromise. I had too much work on my hands and I couldn't juggle my attention for her with it, ending up neglecting her. I also made her cry a number of times during the course of our relationship which I have always regretted. Six days after we broke up, at a friend's party, she was drunk and this guy I dislike very much, the embodiment of a complete asshole, vain, arrogant and stubborn was all over her and then took advantage of her and kissed her. She kissed him back. I was right in front of them when it happened and saw it straight up. I felt crushed, shocked and angry. I spend the rest of the weekend crying and depressed. We argued on the night of that event and she told me many things. I found out that she started liking this guy which she's acquaintances and I know him too since 2 months before we broke up, she even remembered exactly when she started liking him, 14th of January the day after our 13 months. She told me she had moved on 3 days after we broke up which came as a massive shock to me. She also included how on one of our dates, we coincidently met him and some other friends in HMV and she said that it was fate that she saw him that day. Everything, from that kiss to her confessing she liked someone else was a killer. I had suspicions that she liked him as they clearly got on well when we were at parties and do's but I never confronted her about it in case she would be offended for me accusing her.Monday, today the weekend after all of that happened, I felt really depressed in the morning, still upset about the weekend but then after talking to a friend during break time into our free period. After that, I felt refreshed and better about things, accepted that drunken kiss and they understood me completely and how I felt, even about the weekend. We came back into college into the common room, and minutes later, my ex came back too after talking a walk with some friends. She sat next to me and was leaning on my shoulder which I was weirded out by but I just thought of it as friendly. My friend I talked to during break later left and I was left with my ex and another friend. Ten minutes away from lunch, intending to get an early lunch I was going to leave with my friend but then my ex leaned on my shoulder again and was also holding my arm too. I told her I was going to leave in 5 minutes and she just said okay. Within the 5 minutes, she kissed me on the face, on the jaw. My friend saw this and gave me the "WTF?" look and I replied with the "IDK" face. I was so confused and still feel confused now. Shortly afterwards, I unconsciously responded and held her hand gently and said I was going then she moved her head and I left. I couldn't eat my lunch and ended up eating my dessert only. Hours ago from now, we talked about it and she apologised. I told her not to because if she wanted to she can although it sent me mixed messages. I don't believe she has moved on yet and neither does her best friend. She's only saying it to convince herself. My ex and I know that we can't go back because it's too complicated and it'd be wrong. Part of me wants her again but I know it won't happen. However, I still care for her a lot and I want to be there for her. I just don;t know what to do. She's not being clear how she feels and what she wants. I'm just so confused. Noone knows what's going through her mind, even the ones closest to her. I need help because it's hurting me again despite the fact i've almost moved on and gotten over everythign that happened on teh weekend. I just want to help her because she's so upset and confused, and she was hating herself. PLEASE HELP :(
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male
reader, Daviet +, writes (22 March 2011):
Daviet is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIt's not as easy as that though :/I'm not even entirely sure what I want. Part of me wants her back but I can't disregard that she also fancies someone else, how I upset during our relationship and the complications of getting back together when we both said it would be better not to get back together.I also want to help her in any way I can. When I think about it I want to do this to make up for all those times I upset her and wasn't there for her but I really don't know what I'm doing. It doesn't help that she's not being clear about it all to anyone, even her best friend who should know her best.
A
male
reader, Daviet +, writes (22 March 2011):
Daviet is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIt's not as easy as that though :/I'm not even entirely sure what I want. Part of me wants her back but I can't disregard that she also fancies someone else, how I upset during our relationship and the complications of getting back together when we both said it would be better not to get back together.I also want to help her in any way I can. When I think about it I want to do this to make up for all those times I upset her and wasn't there for her but I really don't know what I'm doing. It doesn't help that she's not being clear about it all to anyone, even her best friend who should know her best.
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